Cheap Seats
Thou shalt not act foolish
One sign hanging in the upper deck of the Superdome during the New Orleans-San Francisco game read “Free Moses Now,” a reference to a Saints fan who has legally changed his name to Holy Moses.
Moses, who dresses like the Biblical leader and leads cheers at home games, was arrested during last week’s game for disturbing the peace and getting into a scuffle with Superdome security.
Certainly no worse than the crime the Saints commit every Sunday of impersonating an NFL team.
Fantasy football for kids
A new children’s book series entitled “The NFL/ABC Monday Night Football Club” lets readers fantasize about playing the NFL. Some of the NFL’s biggest names, including John Elway, Jerry Rice, Barry Sanders and Junior Seau are the stars of the series, along with “Nicholas.”
In the first book of the series, Nicholas’ grandfather gives him an old, itchy football jersey and Nicholas’ first thought is to throw it out. But he tries it on and discovers the jersey has magical powers that allows him to switch places with NFL stars during Monday Night Football games. This month’s title is: “I was Dan Marino.”
The Jim Harbaugh book would certainly flop. As Jim Kelly would attest, Harbaugh doesn’t have a spine.
Two, four, six, eight, who do we hate?
So, you don’t like the San Francisco 49ers? We’ve got a spot on the Internet for you.
The 49er-Haters Society page is “devoted to debunking the myths and propaganda associated with the most overrated sports franchise in history: the San Francisco 49ers!”
The 49er-Haters Society page is located at: http:/www.scruznet.com/nhs/49erhater.html
It has struck a nerve. Among the reader comments: “I too have suffered through years of whining from coaches, players, fans and the local media.” “This was like finding heaven on the Net.” “Never in my life have I seen such spineless, two-faced, front-runner fans.”
One of the co-founders of the page says he’d like to keep it going until the Niners become mediocre “or we stop hearing about how great they are.”
Name-dropper
Dave Nelson may have been the only thing that kept people watching the just-completed World Series.
Nelson was the only member of the Indians’ staff who agreed to wear a microphone during World Series telecasts on NBC.
“Do you know how cold it’s going to be in Cleveland?” he asked Florida’s Darren Daulton when the series was still in subtropical Miami.
But Nelson, 53, wasn’t worried about having the mike. “It’s stuff that I would say if I didn’t have it,” Nelson said. “I have an on-off switch, and if I don’t want them to hear something, I flip it off.”
Play-by-play announcer Bob Costas jokingly accused Nelson of plugging himself during Game 3, when Marquis Grissom was on first after a single.
“You’re on your own now,” Nelson told Grissom, for all to hear. “If you’re going to steal, you’re going to have to get one of those Joe Morgan jumps.”
Costas turned to Morgan, his broadcast partner, and said, “Dave with a shameless effort to assure himself some air time.”
The last word …
“You’re not going to trade a Mercedes for three Hyundais. Not that Hyundai is a bad car, mind you.”
- Sacramento Kings general manager Geoff Petrie, who insists he won’t hold a fire sale for disgruntled all-star guard Mitch Richmond.
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo