For Your Children’s Sake, You’ve Got To Show Heart

Growing up in Brooklyn was not easy for me. My parents died when I was very young. I was raised by my sister, who got a great deal of help from my cousins.

There were nine in my family, with six of us living together. (Three had gotten married.) Life at home was six lanes of ceaseless traffic at the corner of a four-story tenement. Sirens and street noises screamed in the background. My role models were street people, gangs and wise guys.

As years went by, the big city streets taught me how to survive. All the negative and unhappy experiences I witnessed motivated me to become the opposite. I hungered to make it. Football was a way out, thanks to my great high school football coach and a football scholarship and especially thanks to my sister and cousins for being positive role models.

Yes, ours was a home without parents, but we worked and cared for one another. Above all, we took pride in our home. We took turns with the chores. We always ate delicious Italian dinners together. Nonstop talking, hugging, laughing, crying and praying permeated our household, and relatives and friends visited often.

Today, unfortunately, it’s common to see children being raised by single parents. Thanks to grandparents and other relatives, to foster parents and friends, many families have held together. No matter the combination, rich or poor, we must be positive role models for our children.

When I mentioned writing this article to a friend, he asked: “Are you a positive role model as a parent?”

I thought about that for a long time. As a dad to my two daughters, a day never went by without my saying, “I love you.” I hugged my children often and was involved with all their activities. I saw to it that they had structure and were held accountable for their actions. I wasn’t afraid to say no and to emphasize responsibility and consequences. I apologized for my mistakes and corrected them.

Yes, I am a positive role model. And so is my wife.

Being a parent is not an easy job. But it’s a job that can provide a lot of happiness. The paycheck is seeing your children grow and mature into responsible, caring people - and positive role models for their own children.

With school starting, you can do your own homework alongside your child by being a strong, positive role model. Please be there for your children. And remember, it costs nothing to tell your children every day that you love them, following that with a gigantic hug.

MEMO: “Your turn” is a feature of the Wednesday and Saturday Opinion pages. To submit a “Your turn” column for consideration, contact Rebecca Nappi at 459-5496 or Doug Floyd at 459-5466 or write “Your turn,” The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane 99210-1615.