Be Cordial, Let Friendship Go
Dear Ann Landers: I am in my mid-50s and have been reading your column for several years. If anyone had told me I would be writing to you one day, I would have said she was crazy. Well, here I am.
My cousin, “Mary,” and I grew up together and have been close friends for a good number of years. She phoned my husband at work and asked him to have lunch with her because she “needed to talk.” My husband, “Dick,” called me and asked if I would like to join them. I said, “No. I think she is probably having trouble with her husband and needs a male ear.”
That evening after dinner, Dick told me Mary confessed that she was obsessed with him and had been for a long time. She also said she didn’t have much in common with her husband any longer. Dick advised her to get some counseling and work out the problem with a professional, period.
This strange luncheon took place three years ago, and I have been virtually ignored by Mary, her mother and her sister ever since. They show up at very few family affairs now and are very cool to me. I find this most upsetting. Please tell me what to do about this unhappy situation. - Dixie Dilemma
Dear Dixie: I suspect Mary is uncomfortable in your presence because she made a failed attempt to get something going with your husband. She assumes he told you about it, and now she is embarrassed.
I see no reason for you to try to mend fences and seek this woman’s friendship. Her aggressive behavior toward your husband suggests that she is not a very good friend. Be cordial when you meet at family affairs, and let it go at that.
Dear Ann Landers: My wife and I live on 10 acres of farmland in Texas. I’d like to direct this letter to those people who abandon unwanted pets. If just one person gets the message, maybe we can keep an animal from suffering needlessly.
Dear Pet Owner: I know that when you dropped off your puppy on the side of the road, you imagined she would find a happy home on a farm. You drove off with a clear conscience.
Your puppy must have been terrified when you didn’t come back. When she wandered up to our place, she was starving, weak and covered with mange and had lost much of her hair. It’s a miracle that she hadn’t been hit by a car. But that would have been better than being found by the local coyotes.
My wife and I decided it would be best for her if I did what you didn’t have the guts to do. I got my gun. When I walked over to her, she whimpered and put her head on my foot. It was then that I realized she was only a puppy. I couldn’t see the sights on my gun because of the tears in my eyes. I just couldn’t pull that trigger.
After lots of love, care and the help of a good vet, “Sally” is going to survive and has become a precious addition to our family. To me, she’s the prettiest puppy ever, although she will forever carry the scars on her body and her spirit.
Next time, I hope you will be responsible and take your unwanted pets to your local humane society. - Hallsville, Texas
Dear Hallsville: A great many pet letters cross my desk in the course of a day, but yours was one of the most moving. Thank you for sending it on.
Most dogs that are dumped on the side of a road are hit by oncoming traffic or starve to death. Sally was a lucky dog, indeed, to have ended up in your family. Give her an extra bone tonight and tell her it’s from me.