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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

‘The Visitor’ Offers Slow Introduction

John Martin New York Times Syndicate

A pair of space travelers invades prime time. One (see “Meego” below) should be sent packing on the next space shuttle flight. The other, “The Visitor,” zooms onto FOX at 8.

By about 8:55, you may be left wondering how much you could care about the fate of Adam MacArthur, a military pilot who was abducted by aliens in the Bermuda Triangle 50 years ago.

John Corbett (“Northern Exposure”) stars in the series created by Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin (“Independence Day”).

MacArthur has stolen a spacecraft and found his way back to Earth, possessing advanced intelligence and mystical powers gleaned from his captors.

His dilemma: The big-bad government doesn’t want him to blow the lid off the whole UFO cover-up operation. His abductors want him back.

And, oh, he has to save the planet from future annihilation.

There’s so much going on that you don’t get it all in the first hour. Some of it doesn’t make sense.

He has “amazing” powers, but he’s stumped when he sees his first home computer. He has to speed-read the manual. (Wait till he tries to upgrade to Windows 95.)

Take my word: it’s “The Invaders” meets “The X-Files.” It gets off to a tedious, uninspired start.

Yet, the possibilities are intriguing.

Highlights

“Family Matters,” CBS at 8: The ABC series moves to CBS for a ninth season.

In the premiere, Urkel (Jaleel White) volunteers for Laura’s (Kellie Shanygne Williams) sorority kissing auction. Laura agrees, but only if he gets a makeover.

Lose the suspenders and get voice therapy? Say it isn’t so!

“Meego,” CBS at 8:30: It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a more unfunny, unoriginal and almost unwatchable series pilot. Bronson Pinchot stars as a 900-year-old alien who crash-lands on Earth.

He’s taken home by three kids who live with their doctor dad (Ed Begley Jr.) Sound familiar?

“E.T.” it’s not. In fact, it’s DOA - dumb on arrival.

“The Gregory Hines Show,” CBS at 9: Hines stars as Ben Stevenson, a book publisher and widowed dad. As the series premieres in its regular time slot, Ben has second thoughts about publishing the autobiography of a pro basketball star (Rick Worthy) who turns out to have a less than an all-star personality.

“Dateline NBC,” NBC at 9: Stone Phillips interviews Renne Polreis, charged with killing her son six months after adopting him. Her defense: He had a rare psychological disorder that caused him to abuse himself.

“Millennium,” FOX at 9: In the season premiere, Black’s (Lance Henriksen) worst fear is realized when Catherine (Megan Gallagher) is abducted by the stalker (Doug Hutchinson) who taunted the Blacks with those Polaroids all last season.

Cable Calls

“The Spitfire Grill” (1996), SHOW at 8: This Sundance Film Festival award winner has so many silly twists it seems to have been written by an unwieldy committee.

Alison Elliott stars as a mysterious woman who shows up in a small Maine town to take a job at the local restaurant. She works some kind of miracle among the townsfolk, though not much of it you’ll believe.

However, several fine performances keep the film moving along.

“Storytellers,” VH-1 at 6: Elton John performs live from the House of Blues in New Orleans.

“South Park Marathon,” COM at 11: Six episodes of the hilarious animated series air back to back.

If you’ve missed this cutting-edge comedy, you’ve missed some fun. These Rocky Mountain fourth-graders make Bart Simpson look like Charlie Brown.

Talk Time

“Late Show With David Letterman,” CBS at 11:30: Actress Farrah Fawcett and singer John Fogerty. Repeat.

“Tonight,” NBC at 11:35: David Caruso (“Michael Hayes”), actress Alyssa Milano and boxer Lennox Lewis.

“Politically Incorrect With Bill Maher,” ABC at 12:05 a.m.: Dave Foley, commentator Heather Higgins and author Jean Houston.

“The Late Late Show With Tom Snyder,” CBS at 12:35 a.m.: Actor Richard Chamberlain and producer David Milch (“NYPD Blue”).

“Late Night With Conan O’Brien,” NBC at 12:35 a.m.: Actor-comedian Richard Lewis and musical guest Nanci Griffith and The Crickets.