Dear Hillary A Woman-To-Woman Talk As Stories Continue To Surface About President Clinton’s Alleged Affair With An Intern, A Few Inland Northwest Women Offer Some Advice For The First Lady

On Monday, Hillary Clinton wore a yellow suit and pearls as she stood by her man, Bill. The two were announcing an after-school child care program, while all their unspoken cares lurked in the shadows.

Did he or didn’t he? If he did, should Hillary dump him or stand by him? If he didn’t, what’s the best way to cope with the lies and conspiracies? If you had some advice for Hillary right now, what would it be?

We posed these questions to some Inland Northwest women who are involved in women’s empowerment or involved in community activities or women we knew who would give us thought-provoking answers. Here are their responses:

Eileen Thomas, civic affairs activist in Spokane:

“I’m not sure if he’s doing this. One half of me says yes, the other says no. But men are men. Men have been doing this since Adam and Eve. Some men don’t know how to keep their zippers closed.

“I admire Hillary. I’d tell her stand by him and give him hell afterward. It has nothing to do with him running the country. If he was battering you, I’d say pack your bags. Battering means he lost respect for you completely. You are not being battered. You have the world at your feet. Hang in there.”

Judy Whatley, community activist in North Idaho in human rights, including women’s rights:

“If I were sitting across from Hillary and holding her hands, I would say, you are a strong wonderful woman. And you are now the person we want to believe and trust, at a time when we desperately need to believe.

“Please continue to help the country focus on the positive and move forward with programs so important to you. Know that many people are sending you and Chelsea love and understanding for the private and very public pain you are being put through. And may I add, that if YOU were president, we wouldn’t have this dilemma.”

Jane Lavagetto of Spokane; she describes herself as a “contemplative, older, free-lance writer:”

“If I were Hillary and to be interviewed, I’d say I don’t want to comment on it. It’s a personal matter between me and my husband. This is not to imply that in the privacy of the bedroom, I wouldn’t be quick to tell him he’s a bastard. If I were tell Hillary to take any action at all it would be to walk out of both his life and the White House.”

Sister Marcia Schrapps, director of Our Place, an ecumenical outreach ministry in West Central Spokane:

“Dear Hillary: As I listened to the State of the Union address, I felt a renewed sense of confidence and pride in our Congress, our president, our nation. When the camera focused on you, I thought ‘There is a strong and valiant woman.’ Like most Americans, I will never know the entire truth regarding the allegations against your husband. I do know that your belief in him, your courage and steadfastness gives me hope.”

Jan Polek, gender equity specialist for the Community Colleges of Spokane; she met Hillary in 1995:

“Stay strong. Some people want you to be a ‘victim.’ Be good to yourself. Lean on your women friends and eat chocolate.”

Lunell Haught of Spokane, workplace management specialist:

“Advice to Hillary? Being the good woman friend that I am, I think I’d just listen. I would point out that whatever has or hasn’t happened between Hillary and her husband, and him and others, the result of their union seems to be a pretty squared-away youngster. They have managed to keep their daughter out of the limelight so she can grow up as normally as possible.

“Whenever I’ve seen media coverage of Chelsea she seems to be polite, courteous, fun, smart, not suffering from anorexia, drugs, ego, inferiority or too much attention. All people are a result of some combination of nature and nurture, and the combination apparent in their daughter leads me to believe they must have done something right.”

Donna Carolyn, therapist with Cedar Bridge Counseling of Spokane:

“If I were Ms. Hillary Clinton’s personal adviser, I’d tell her to ‘kick him out of the House!’ However, a distinction needs to be drawn here. As the first lady of the United States, Ms. Clinton has obligations that go beyond her personal relationship with her husband. And it seems evident that she realizes that. I think she does an outstanding job of focusing on the bigger picture, that one of running our country.

“It is my hope that the media will come out the loser in this hoopla. I wish they could see the bigger picture and give attention to what concerns us most - economics, welfare programs, world peace.”

Polly Quackenbush of Spokane; she has worked in women’s empowerment education for 20 years:

“I listened to Hillary and wondered this: ‘Why, Hillary, are you spending your time cleaning up his adolescent messes? And you are a terrible role model for your daughter.’ But I wouldn’t tell her to leave, because I never tell women what to do. I would tell her: ‘Look at what you are doing. Get a clue! Is this how you want to live your life?”’

Robin Moody, Gonzaga University junior, sports writer for The Gonzaga Bulletin, involved in women studies program:

“I would tell Hillary to listen to her heart. It seems the facts in this case are still murky. She needs to ask herself if she trusts her husband. If she does, she needs to keep a stiff upper lip and brace herself for what is coming.”

, DataTimes