Daughter Is Old Enough To Manage Her Time
Q. My teenage (17, almost 18) daughter is promptness challenged. She usually manages to get to her job within a couple of minutes of being on time, but she’s late for nearly everything else. I’ve tried setting her alarm early, setting multiple alarm clocks in her room, explaining the virtues of being on time, etc., all to no avail. She claims the more I talk, the less she will comply, but even on the occasions when I say nothing, she is still late. Is it too late to implement anything to help change her behavior? Is it my problem if I have a problem with her lateness? Should I just stand back and let it happen? I could handle that outside the family, but being a prompt person myself, I get really annoyed when her behavior directly affects me, such as making the family late for church or an activity, or when we need to pick up someone else on time. Hope you have some suggestions.
A. Your best bet is to back out of her lateness problem. She sees your concern as trying to control her, and now views promptness as submitting to your control.
Tell her you realize she is old enough to be in charge of her schedule, and that you are turning the responsibility over to her. Be sure you don’t hover around, glance at the clock, or use other body language that conveys attempts to supervise silently.
When you are no longer involved, she can more clearly understand the consequences of being late.
A solution to family outings is to give her a specific time you’ll be leaving and let her know you plan to leave on schedule. If she isn’t ready, let her experience the consequences. She may have to get a ride or miss some events.
Maintain a pleasant and friendly attitude regarding her schedule to convey your comfort with letting her take over the task.
Q. My daughter, just 2, only weighs 23 pounds. She is not even on the growth charts for her age in height, and for weight she’s in the 25th percentile. My pediatrician’s monitoring this. She was three weeks premature and only 4 pounds 13 ounces when she came home from the hospital.
My question is, how do I handle her non-eating habits? I know the experts say that children will eat what they need to consume nutritionally, however, she seems to be the exception to that rule.
A. Make another appointment with her pediatrician. Ask if there could be any possibility of digestive problems that could affect her eating.
If the doctor assures you her weight gain is not a problem, let go of your anxiety over the issue. Your anxiety will interfere with her ability to relax and enjoy mealtime.
Concentrate on making mealtimes more pleasant, social and relaxing. Let her sit in a chair at the table. This allows her to feel grown up and encourages her to eat as other members of the family do.
Invite her friends and relatives for meals. Kids have an amazing tendency to enjoy foods when visitors are present.
Send your questions and comments to Cathleen Brown, P.O. Box 6613, Los Osos, CA 93402. Faster yet, e-mail me: cabrown500@aol.com
The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Cathleen Brown The Spokesman-Review