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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Cheap Seats

As big as a car

While Japanese sumo wrestling grand champion Akebono was waiting to stage a segment for “48 Hours” on CBS television with figure skater Tara Lipinski recently, he got hungry.

So Akebono, who weighs 516 pounds, hustled the CBS crew out the door at the Olympic practice facility in Nagano, Japan, and up to a drive-through window at a nearby McDonald’s - without a car.

When he placed an order for 15 hamburgers, the manager came out to explain he needed a car. Then, when the manager realized to whom he was talking, the order was quickly filled.

Sound of the surly

Dallas Mavericks forward Dennis Scott, who was passed over for the NBA’s All-Star weekend 3-point shooting contest: “I’m not a percentage shooter. I’m an impact shooter.”

Said Mavericks coach Don Nelson: “Sounds like a guy shooting 37 percent.”

Shanahan reincarnated

From Adam Schefter of the Denver Post: “What Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis did when he hired Jon Gruden as his head coach was indirectly admit what an abominable mistake he made when he fired Mike Shanahan four games into the 1989 season. Gruden is what Shanahan was 10 years ago. A sharp mind. An offensive whiz. … Davis is trying to clone the man he once tortured and fired.”

Less is more

The New York Rangers’ Wayne Gretzky on former Kings teammate Bernie Nicholls, now with San Jose:

“My first year in Los Angeles, Bernie scored 70 goals and was making $300,000. Now he has one goal and he’s making $2 million. … I told him, ‘Bernie, you really have this game figured out.”’

Not so fast, Harry

Longtime broadcaster Harry Caray after being informed cable superstation WGN is cutting its Chicago Cubs telecasts from 144 games to 92 to make room for shows such as “Buffy the Vampire Slayer:”

“Hell, I’m more attractive than Buffy.”

Who wants a used A, anyway?

Sandy Alderson, president of the Oakland Athletics, talking at an A’s Fan Fest:

“We made $40,000 selling our 1997 uniforms. … We made an extra $5,000 selling our 1997 players.”

The Athletics finished last in the American League West last season.

An odd decision, even in divorce

New York State Supreme Court Justice Marylin Diamond gave an equal number of pro basketball and hockey season tickets to Leonard Dobbs, 65, and his wife Gloria, 64, who are splitting up after 43 years of marriage.

However, the judge ruled that, “This court will not compel them to team up once again at courtside.”

Beginning next season, the judge said, the husband will get all even-numbered Knicks tickets and all odd-numbered Rangers tickets, which means they would attend different Madison Square Garden games; the wife gets odd-numbered Knicks tickets and even-numbered Rangers tickets.

The last word …

“He’s not impressed with himself when he does something that’s astounding. He’s not depressed when he makes a mistake. He’s got no MTV in him at all.”

- San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich, on veteran Spurs center Will Perdue

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo