January 8, 1998 in Features

If It Works For Idaho…

By The Spokesman-Review
 

You often hear Spokane area residents complain about feeling alienated from the power structure over on the other side of the state.

But if people here really wanted to express their sense of separatism, they could take a lesson from the folks across the state line. They could start referring to living in “East Washington.”

Update on congressional attempts to gut the Clean Coffee Act: So we saw this flier for a gathering to be held at a South Hill grocery store. At the top it said, “Saturday Morning Environmental Coffee Forum. Explore local concerns over coffee in a casual and comfortable setting.”

Only after reading further did we realize the subject of the meeting was air quality, not coffee.

Slice prediction: Given society’s tendency to embrace excess, here are some lifestyle issues certain to surface in 1998.

1. Binge ballroom dancing.

2. Binge Wonderbra wearing.

3. Binge carpooling.

4. Binge RVing.

5. Binge liposuction.

6. Binge interior decorating.

7. Binge TV avoidance.

8. Binge wine tasting.

9. Binge cocooning.

10. Binge spirituality.

Toro, toro: Our recent mention of readers’ most despised examples of bad table manners prompted a call from a woman who said we had left out her all-time “favorite.”

“I can’t stand when someone flaps a cloth napkin like a bullfighter before placing it on his lap,” she said.

Overheard at a North Side store: Noting the background music, a shopper got all sentimental and, turning to her husband, pointed out it was the song that was playing when their daughter was born. The husband realized she was right, and they had a smiling family moment.

The song? “Born to be Wild.”

The perfect home: Occasionally you see lists of features people consider essential in a dream house. You know, stuff like a high-end kitchen with an island.

But what if someone soliciting nominations for such a list required that people include at least one entirely local feature? Here are a few guesses about what might show up on a Spokane area “must have” list.

1. Underground utility wires.

2. Nowhere near Bloomsday route.

3. Medium-security timeout room.

4. Raccoon resistant.

5. Motion-detector lights.

Today’s Slice question: If you had a remote control designed to be aimed at co-workers, what - besides a “mute” button - would be some of the features?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. “They now have on/off switches for airbags,” wrote a reader. “Why weren’t those around when I was with my ex?”

The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. “They now have on/off switches for airbags,” wrote a reader. “Why weren’t those around when I was with my ex?”


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