January 11, 1998 in Sports

Cheap Seats

 

Honesty is the best policy

Don Sutton’s election to baseball’s Hall of Fame, brought about these comments from Thomas Boswell of the Washington Post:

“Ironically, one of Sutton’s best qualities as a person might have kept him out of the Hall for a couple of extra years. He’s about as dead honest as they make ‘em. For years, it cost him prestige and votes.

“‘Comparing me to Sandy Koufax is like comparing Earl Scheib to Michelangelo,’ he once said after breaking a record of Koufax’s. Asked about his manager with the Dodgers, Tommy Lasorda, Sutton said, ‘I’m leery of Tommy. I believe in God, not the Big Dodger in the Sky.”’ Late in his career, when hitters claimed his best pitches were the scuffball, the cut ball and the sandpaper ball, Sutton would stuff dirty notes in his pockets for umpires to find when they frisked him.

“That’s the only fun I have,” he lamented. “At least I ought to get a Black & Decker commercial out of it.”

If you can’t make fun of yourself, who can you make fun of?

It’s too easy to hate America’s Team

Anti-Cowboys sites are nothing new to the Internet. They’ve taken a life of their own on the World Wide Web. In most cases, they’re sophomoric, and the jokes tend to be recycled and trite.

Finding “clever” anti-Cowboys sites … well, now, those are difficult to come by.

However, the F Street Club NE site based in Washington, D.C., apparently has put a lot of thought into its anti-Cowboys page (www.onyxtech.com/ fstreet/cowboys.htm).

The F Street Club NE’s anti-Cowboys page lists candidates for Barry Switzer’s job, offers a compilation of anti-Cowboys observations by syndicated columnist Norman Chad, links to other anti-Cowboys sites and delivers a low blow with comparisons of the current Cowboys to the Third Reich.

Warning: Cowboys fans who don’t like irreverent humor at their team’s expense should steer clear of this site.

As for Chad, he’s not going to make any friends with Cowboys bashers in Arlington.

“You take away Six Flags Over Texas and all you’ve got left in (the Dallas/Arlington area) are 600 saddle shops and no flags.”

Even the best can be led astray

Tony Walker, a former Indianapolis Colts linebacker, was accused of trying to smuggle marijuana into an Indianapolis-area correctional facility, where he had worked as a recreation leader since 1994.

Walker, 29, and Stephanie Conner, 22, both of Indianapolis, were arrested last week. Conner was accused of being in possession of one-fourth pound of marijuana, worth about $400, state police said.

Walker has since resigned from his prison job.

What makes this case ironic is that Walker sang the national anthem and played trumpet at the team’s anti-drug rallies in 1991 and 1992.

The last word . . .

“Al Davis is a man who intentionally creates his own aura of mystery. I think the thing he enjoys during his private moments is he knows most people are speculating what he does during his private moments.”

- Former Raiders tight end Todd Christensen on the uselessness of trying to predict what the Raiders owner will do next to screw up his team.

, DataTimes


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