Ladies: Turn On The Lights
Dear Ann Landers: I’m tired of hearing about whether or not the toilet seat should be left up or down. Women are always complaining that they fall into the toilet at night because the man of the house left the seat in the up position.
Here is my advice, ladies: Turn on the lights. Men always do. - Walt in Tallahassee
Dear Walt: Thanks for the suggestion. Meanwhile, here’s one more on the same subject:
Dear Ann Landers: My next-door neighbor is my dearest friend. Yesterday, over coffee at my kitchen table, she seemed quite upset with her husband, “Jerry.” It is a well-known fact that he has been running around on her for years, so I asked her if she had ever considered a divorce. She said, “Divorce - never. But murder? Yes.”
She continued, “Last night, I had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night - a common occurrence. I didn’t want to turn on the light for fear of waking Jerry, so I groped my way, as I have done many times before. When I reached my destination, I poised myself to be seated and fell right into the bowl. It seems my darling husband, for the millionth time, had left the seat up.”
I listened patiently, trying my darnedest not to laugh. I could tell she didn’t see anything funny about it. Finally, she said, “I wonder what Ann Landers would say.” I told her I would write and ask. So, dear Ann, how about it? - Louisville, Ky.
Dear Louisville: Please make sure your neighbor sees this column. I just read about a contraption equipped with “intelligent sensors” that can tell if the seat is up or down. It sells at hardware stores for $29.99. It is actually a night light that attaches to the bowl and glows red if the seat is up and green if the seat is down.
The people who are marketing this unique item say it is very popular. I have not seen one, but for some married couples, it might be worth the investment.
Dear Ann Landers: I have read many letters in your column about the inappropriate things people say and do in a variety of situations. Well, I have come to the conclusion that these folks are not simply inarticulate, they are just plain insensitive and thoughtless. Let me tell you some of the comments that were addressed to me when our 8-day-old baby died.
My husband’s mother, the child’s grandmother, said, “Why are you sad? You should be happy. Your child is now with God.” A co-worker said, “Well, at least you won’t have to pay a baby sitter. You wouldn’t believe the rates they are charging these days.” A nurse in the hospital told me it was my fault that the baby died because I should have gotten to the hospital sooner.
No matter how often people say they are only trying to be “honest” or “helpful,” I am having a hard time believing it. I think some folks are just plain mean. What do you think, Ann? I value your opinion. - Heartbroken in D.C.
Dear D.C.: I would not make a blanket condemnation of people who say inappropriate things. Some, no doubt, are genuinely mean. But others may simply be insensitive or clatter-trap types who spout nonsense because they feel they must say something and the words are out of their mouths before they think about what they are saying. Give the clatter-traps the benefit of the doubt. I believe there are many more klutzes in the world than meanies.