Helen’s ‘A Real Piece Of Work,’ Whatever That Is

It’s hard to say why U.S. Rep. Helen Chenoweth’s “a real piece of work.” But everyone knows she is. Including Peter Carlson of the Washington Post, who mentioned Our Miss Chenoweth in a Jan. 13 article on pieces of work. Bill Clinton also is. But Al Gore isn’t. Jack Nicholson is. Harrison Ford isn’t. Even the Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang has trouble defining the term. Basically, a spokesman said, it’s “a person notable in some way.” Sometimes it’s derogatory and sometimes it’s almost admirable. Locally, I’d say comrade-in-arms David Bond qualifies, but I don’t (as much as I’d like to). I’m too cautious. Feisty Ray Stone, ex-Coeur d’Alene mayor-for-life, definitely was a POW, but successor Al Hassell wasn’t. Harry Magnuson is. Duane Hagadone isn’t. Anyone else?

Running (around) bare

Did that old movie ever tell us what we were supposed to say to a naked lady? How about a dozen of them? Local emergency medical technicians encountered a room full of flesh last week while responding to an Ironwood Athletic Club SOS. The episode started when a woman stepped out of the showers or a hot tub and passed out in front of the towel closet. Frightened, another disrobed woman covered herself the best she could with two shoes, ran to the locker room door and screamed for help. Thus began a chain reaction that saw emergency helpers pouring through the undressing area a few minutes later. Eventually, they reached the fallen woman and treated her. There are a million stories in this naked city.

Blink, blink

Last week, a talk-radio caller who was discussing John Glenn’s plans to go back into space caught Bob Abbott’s attention. The man said he could picture a 77-year-old senator orbiting the Earth - at 20 miles per hour with his left turn signal on. … So, North Idaho College instructor Nils Rosdahl is visiting Mayan ruins in a Guatemala jungle over the holidays, and guess whom he runs into? No, not Vin Scully, silly (“Huckleberries,” Aug. 11, 1997). Bob Clark, an NIC science instructor. Who woulda thunk it? … Quotable quote: “Oh, I thought you were going to ask me about Monica Lewinsky.” - Post Falls planner Colin Coles, responding to a call from a reporter with a routine question. Do you suppose Boy Clinton’s bimbo eruptions have reached critical mass? … A sign in the CdA post office says overnight delivery is available. But a CdA woman learned what the local USPS means by “overnight delivery”: Her $11 package is guaranteed to reach its destination - within two days. But what about the sign? she asked. Oh, responded a postal employee, “The sign’s wrong. The airport’s in Spokane.” Hmmm?

Huckleberries

Paul Friend, Idaho News Observer publisher, predicts Zippergate will produce several books and movies, including “All the President’s Women” and “Sex, Lies and Audiotapes.” … Then, Paul tells me his wife didn’t shoot herself accidentally in the chest last year (“Huckleberries,” Jan. 19). Her purse did. Actually, it was the automatic handgun inside her purse. Something, maybe static electricity, caused it to discharge. (I think Paul is dangerously close to becoming “a piece of work.”) … I can understand the weeping, but can someone explain why the crowd at the Coeur d’Alene Cinema applauded last week at the end of “Titanic”? Is it an Idaho thing? … Bumpersnicker of the week: “If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?” … Oopsies: Several subscribers contacted me last week to point out that Commissioner Jack Buell, of course, is from Benewah County not Bonner. Added one Bonner County man: “I sure wished we had him up here, but we don’t.”

Parting Shot

Bonner County Commissioners Bud Mueller and Larry Allen no longer are swapping Christmas cards. This, according to my bloodhounds. Seems Bud & Co. are upset that Larry no longer walks lockstep with their far-right ideas. And Larry is unhappy that a couple of Bud’s friends took advantage of a recent action by commissioners to legalize illegal lots. Stay tuned.

, DataTimes MEMO: Gotta Huckleberry? Call the Huckleberry Hound hot line: (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125; daveo@spokesman.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review