Wedding Planning 101 There’s So Much To Do When You’re Getting Married; It’s Not Too Early To Start Now

January and February may not be the most popular months to get married, but this is certainly a busy time for couples planning a wedding later this year. An engagement should be savored, but, as anyone who has planned a wedding knows, it can also be a stressful time. Staying organized will help you enjoy these days and have the wedding you dream of.

Here are some tips on getting started: Wedding Planning 101.

The budget

It’s not exactly romantic, but the first - and most important - step in planning a wedding is establishing a budget.

Traditionally, the bride’s family was responsible for almost all the wedding costs. Many weddings are still planned this way, but it is increasingly common for the expenses to be shared among the bride’s and groom’s parents and the couple. There are no real rules: A generous grandmother may offer to contribute as well; some couples prefer to pay for the entire event themselves.

Without the guidelines of tradition to follow, good communication becomes even more important. The bride and groom should discuss the budget openly, albeit diplomatically, with their families. No one should feel pressured to contribute. Parents may offer a certain sum. Or they may prefer to pay for something specific, such as the music, photographer or gown. If this is the case, it’s still important to discuss numbers - the price difference between two bands, for example, could be thousands of dollars. The situation will be different for every wedding.

The wedding budget can be broken down into six categories: reception, bride’s attire, music, photography, flowers and miscellaneous. As a rough guide, plan on devoting about 50 percent of your budget to the reception (which includes the site, food, drink, rentals, service and the cake) and 10 percent each to the other categories. (The miscellaneous expenses include invitations, favors, transportation, guest book and other extras.) This means that if your overall budget is $20,000, about $10,000 should go to the reception, $2,000 to the bride’s gown and accessories, etc. These percentages are flexible, of course, but they do provide a good starting point.

Your wedding style

As you work on the budget, think about the kind of wedding you want. Begin by describing what you envision in general terms: romantic, sophisticated, fun, old-fashioned, modern, intimate, traditional.

Then think about how to achieve that effect. Is the wedding big or small? Formal or casual? Held during the day or night? At home, or in a restaurant or hotel? These most basic decisions determine both the feeling of the wedding and the cost. Consider the difference between an afternoon tea for 50 people and an evening dinner-dance for 200.

The best weddings reflect the bride and groom’s style, so let your personalities show through. What better way to announce and celebrate your new life together?

Getting organized

Use a custom-made wedding planner to keep track of all the details. In a loose-leaf binder or accordion file, create a different section for every aspect of your wedding, from budget to gift registry to bridesmaid dresses. Fill it with pictures, ideas, notes, proposals, fabric swatches, receipts and contracts.

A bridal consultant is by no means a necessity, but having a professional’s help makes wedding planning much easier. This service may seem like a luxury, but a consultant will make sure you don’t exceed your budget. And don’t forget how much time he or she will save you, which is what makes this service most valuable to a busy bride.

A consultant may charge a percentage of the overall budget (15 percent is common) or a flat or hourly fee. As with most wedding services, a referral from someone you trust is a great way to find a good bridal consultant. You can also call the Association of Bridal Consultants (860-355-0464) for the names of professionals in your area.

Ways to save

The wedding reception is the single biggest expense, which also means it’s where you can save the most. Instead of a sit-down dinner, have a lunch buffet or a breakfast, brunch, tea or cocktail party. Look into sites such as public gardens, parks and universities, which are often less expensive than traditional wedding venues.

Prices for all wedding services vary widely, so make sure to do some comparison shopping. Some vendors will charge less for parties on any day of the week other than Saturday, or in the less popular months of the year - how about February, 1999?

MEMO: Questions should be addressed to Martha Stewart, care of The New York Times Syndication Sales Corp., 122 E. 42nd St., New York, N.Y. 10168. Questions may also be sent to Stewart by electronic mail. Her address is: mstewart@marthastewart.com.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Martha Stewart New York Times Syndicate