Doing It All For Jan Brady

Here’s our pal Ken Martin’s strategy for making the miles fly by on long car trips.

1. Wait for a song on the radio that includes the phrase “my baby.”

2. Sing along. But substitute “Jan Brady” for “my baby.”

Imagine the fun you can have with a bunch of oldies.

“Everybody’s tryin’ to be Jan Brady now.”

“Doing it all for Jan Brady.”

“Don’t say nothin’ bad about Jan Brady.”

“Be Jan Brady nowwwwww.”

“Jan Brady does the hanky panky.”

“Jan Brady loves lovin.’ ” “Jan Brady, she’s plain outta sight.”

“Having Jan Brady, what a lovely way to say how much you love me.”

“Jan Brady, she wrote me a letter.”

And our favorite, “Bang, bang, Jan Brady shot me down.”

Here’s something we noticed on an invitation to a Spokane charity event (see if you can spot the word that cracked us up): “Elizabeth Gardner & Todd Lewis, KXLY-TV, Honorary Media Spokescouple.”

Yes, that’s right. Let’s all grab a partner and take turns being spokescouples. Sheesh.

Ring-a-ding-ding: If it’s a clear night, Saturn should be visible shortly after sunset Sunday. The planet will be lined up right next to the crescent moon in the south-southwest sky.

Don’t expect to make out the rings, though. Remember, Saturn is way over yonder. Look for a point of light.

And here’s a tip from Dan Bakken of the Spokane Astronomical Society. “Planets tend to shine steadier than stars.”

Where indeed: Deer Park’s John Funk called a hardware store’s toll-free number to address a billing problem. He knew the store was part of a national chain. Still, he was surprised by the customer service rep’s question: “Where’s Spokane?”

Cheney resident Jerry Barnard’s motto: “Do your best and if that’s not good enough for them, to heck with ‘em.”

Slice answer: When Spokane accountant Susan Burford was in first grade, she gave her teacher an inexpensive vase as a gift. But when the teacher opened the bag it was in, both discovered that the vase had shattered. Naturally, the little girl was disappointed.

“A few months later the teacher showed me a new vase in the classroom,” Burford recalled. “It looked like a jigsaw puzzle with little cracks throughout the whole thing. Then I realized, she had glued my little vase back together.”

Today’s Slice question: What’s one thing you never used to do before moving here?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Again, sorry about January Birthdaygate.