Seek Help From Doctor, Counselor

Dear Ann Landers: I am an intelligent, attractive, articulate, vivacious divorced woman, under 40. I have a great career and make good money, which has made it possible for me to own a nice home and car and wear designer clothes. Everyone loves me because I’m outgoing and extremely funny. I’m invited out a lot. So what’s my problem? I don’t enjoy living, and it would be OK with me if I didn’t wake up tomorrow morning.

When I was younger, I suffered from depression. When my son was born, he gave me a reason to live and enjoy life. But now that my son is grown, I can’t seem to find a reason to live. I have had no success in relationships. I often joke that I need to meet a well-educated man in a blue-collar job, but the truth is, I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone.

I recently fell hard for a co-worker. He was wonderful and seemed so happy to be with me, but after only a few weeks, it became apparent that we had little in common. I love being around people; he doesn’t. He didn’t care for any of the recreational activities that I enjoy. He was content to see me once a week, and there was never a guarantee of intimacy. He said his sex drive would probably diminish as he gets older. This was very bad news because his libido barely functions while mine is in overdrive - and he is four years younger than I am.

I finally decided to quit seeing him, but I’m terribly lonely. My son is away at college, and I don’t see any point in going on. I don’t want to meet more men, but the thought of being alone forever is more than I can bear. Please help me. - Pointless in Zion, Ill.

Dear Zion: If ever I sensed clinical depression in a letter, yours is it. Please ask your physician to prescribe a mood elevator. (A psychologist cannot prescribe medication.) You could also use some counseling. I recommend it.

Too bad you picked a dud, but please don’t give up. Keep alert to other possibilities and open to new relationships. You say you are lonely. Well, there are a lot of lonely men out there who would appreciate a woman like you. Find one.

Good luck, and happy hunting.

Dear Ann Landers: I don’t consider myself a prejudiced person, but I am terrified of AIDS. It’s not that I sit in judgment of people who have it. I’m simply frightened to death of catching the disease.

I think there should be some sort of law requiring an annual HIV screening of everyone over 18 years of age. People who test positive should be required by law to tell everyone they have had sex with about their condition. I’ve heard and read countless stories about women whose boyfriends or husbands were infected but didn’t tell them until it was too late.

Is it wrong for me to feel this way? How can I make sure I don’t get infected? - Michelle in Riverside, Calif.

Dear Michelle: Decency and consideration for others cannot be legislated. It is a matter of personal integrity. You should not have to worry about AIDS unless you are having unprotected sex with someone who is promiscuous or whose sexual history is somewhat murky. If you aren’t sure of your partner’s status, insist on seeing the results of a blood test. Then, insist that your partner use condoms each and every time.

There are now condoms for women. Since you are so concerned about AIDS, it might give you additional peace of mind if you used that protection, too. P.S.: If you want unequivocal and total peace of mind, consider abstinence.