Buddy To Be Fixed Before He’s Subpoenaed Clintons To Remove Threat Of Scandal In The Doghouse
Finally, a Clinton sex story the White House is willing to address.
Though the president’s chocolate Labrador retriever has avoided any hint of scandal in his six months of life, the White House confirmed Tuesday that the First Family is having him neutered.
And it’s all because of Doris Day.
The actress with the pearly teeth and oh-so-pure image wrote a letter to Clinton in December suggesting that he set an example for pet owners by neutering his pup. The Washington-based Doris Day Animal League, which runs a neutering campaign to fight overpopulation and the killing of unwanted animals, received a positive reply this week.
In a three-sentence letter released by the White House, presidential physician E. Connie Mariano wrote that the Clintons have agreed to cut short Buddy’s sex life.
White House spokesman Joe Lockhart said the president “was strongly encouraged by both a veterinarian and some others that, in the interest of both the dog’s health and the growing dog population, this is the right thing to do.”
Whether Buddy ever strayed from his protected environment is unclear. Secret Service agents aren’t talking. But in a time when any story containing the words “Clinton” and “sex” is grist for late-night comedians and commentators, Lockhart issued a simple exhortation.
“We are imploring responsible newspapers to keep this quiet because everyone knows that dogs do read the paper and they talk among themselves,” quipped the spokesman officially designated to deal with questions regarding sex. “In the interest of privacy, we want to keep this away from the chattering dog class.”