March 29, 1998 in City

Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

By The Spokesman-Review
 

The forecast is hot and thuggy

The Aryan Nation’s 100-Loser March is now set for July 18 in Coeur d’Alene. That’ll be rough. Those pointy hoods can be so stifling in July.

Sing it for us, would you, Barbra?

Actually, Aryan mutant Richard Butler has done great things for the cause of racial unity in Coeur d’Alene. People of all races have now joined voices in one rousing chorus of, “Don’t Aryan on Our Parade.”

This Starr man is America’s very own Javert

Kenneth Starr now wants to know what books Monica Lewinsky bought from her local book store. What’s he going to do? Charge her with lousy taste in paperbacks? Accuse her of an affair with John Grisham? Prosecute her for plagiarizing dirty passages from Jacqueline Susann?

Clinton’s in Africa, searching for the source of denial

Meanwhile, Clinton has been in Africa this week, apologizing for slavery, apologizing for genocide and denying everything else.

One more reason to be cool, like Joe Camel

A new state law says teens can be fined $50 for possession of cigarettes. Apparently, the stench, the expense and the early death haven’t been sufficient deterrents.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 Photos

MEMO: Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.

Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.

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