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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Man’s kids want him to lose the trophy girlfriend



 (The Spokesman-Review)
Steve and Mia Knight Ridder

Q: I’m a 54-year-old divorced male. I have five grown children, and I am currently involved with a 23-year-old woman.

I am financially secure and have provided my girlfriend with an apartment, furniture and college tuition.

We’ve been involved for 10 months, and she is my first relationship since my divorce five years ago.

Only one of my grown children is supportive of my relationship.

The other four think my girlfriend is a gold digger. This has caused strain all around.

Your help would be greatly appreciated.

Steve: When children grow up, there’s a tendency toward role reversal with their parents.

Make it clear that it’s your life, your decision and, as an adult, you will accept the consequences.

But don’t run your life according to what your kids want.

Mia: Yeah, but you may have to live with the fact that the kids are never going to warm to a step-mom their own age.

But if you can handle being estranged from your children, have fun with your little arm-candy girlfriend.

Q: A man I’ve been dating for six months wants me to get breast enhancement surgery.

He thinks I’ll look better.

He’s wealthy and will pay for the surgery. I initially agreed but now wonder if I made the right decision.

What do you think?

Mia: Wait a minute! This is about you and your body, not him. You should never change yourself just for a man.

Unless it’s something that you want to do, tell him to back off.

Steve: It depends on the basis of your relationship.

If it is monetary in nature, then his request seems reasonable.

If the basis is love, however, you need to decide if you want an equal partnership or one in which you are directed to alter who you are to suit your partner.

Q: My younger brother just got engaged to a woman who is rude, pushy and not very nice to him.

But he seems blind to all of her negatives. Should I tell him I hate her or keep my mouth shut?

Mia: I’m afraid silence really is golden in this scenario.

You can’t tell him you hate your future sister-in-law.

They’ll just turn on you.

Keep your mouth closed and smile in all the wedding photos.

Steve: Love is blind, deaf and dumb, so whatever you say would have no effect.

You just have to hope he comes to his senses before the wedding day.