Wishing away our childhoods can make us miss them more

The only time we are excited about growing older is when we are kids. We can’t wait until we reach that next milestone when our life will simply be better. Then when we get older, we wonder why we were in such a hurry to grow up.

I just returned from a weekend visit in Wenatchee with my three nieces and nephew, who always remind me of where I’ve been, and where they’re so anxious to get to.

Turning 13 was a big one for me – it meant I was not only becoming a teenager, but I had finally reached the allowable age to get my ears pierced. I was the only one of my friends who didn’t have them pierced yet, so when my birthday arrived, they all chipped in to pay for the milestone. As the attendant stapled both my ears, I remember thinking, “This is what I was so anxiously waiting for?” That and “Ouch!”

My ears got infected twice because I didn’t follow the rules. I was too eager to wear the fancy earrings and couldn’t be bothered with wearing those plain gold posts for six weeks. My ears soon closed up due to lack of care. I eventually got them pierced again when I was older and actually wanted them done – not because everyone else had them.

Sweet sixteen was the most anticipated because it meant being able to do the two things I had waited my whole life for – driving and dating. I believed wholeheartedly that my life would be complete once I was able to do these two things. No more taking the bus or being driven around by Mom, and no more sneaking out to meet my boyfriend Rick. We had been going together for more than a year and now we could finally go to Homecoming and Sadie Hawkins together. Granted, I only got to take out our Reliant K-car once a week, but oh how liberating it felt.

Although it was very exciting to finally be able to drive and date, no one ever mentioned all the complications that came with those privileges. (Or least I didn’t care to listen.) That’s the beauty of being a kid – you don’t think about the reality and responsibilities of getting older – you just see all the glamour and freedom.

Hitting one of the pillars that lined our driveway as I backed the car out was one of those realities. Another was finding out that Rick had asked someone else to Homecoming before breaking up with me. But the good news was, I could take my girlfriends and go cruising down Riverside now that I had my own wheels, and look for a new boyfriend.

By the time I finished high school, attending my senior prom and graduating came with much anticipation too, but I was in such a rush to go off to college that I didn’t realize how monumental it was leaving home. As excited as I was to move out and live in the dormitory, I wasn’t prepared for how much I would miss my mom. I took for granted her cooking and all the comforts of home, like soft toilet paper. Anyone who’s lived in a dorm can attest to the discomfort of using that rough, cardboard tissue.

Perhaps the biggest milestone of all was turning 21. I grew up in a family of 11 kids and had to watch all of them go out dancing with my cousins, while my sister Brig and I were stuck home watching “The Love Boat.” I couldn’t wait to turn 21 and start having some fun. Little did I know that I was in the midst of having the purest kind of fun – and it didn’t cost $6 a cocktail. I eventually realized it was cheaper and often more fun to have friends over instead, but no one can tell you differently before you get there yourself. We’re in such a hurry to grow up and start living how we’ve always imagined, that even if someone told us to slow down and enjoy our childhood more, we’d just roll our eyes or turn a deaf ear. That’s because grown ups don’t know what they’re talking about, not to mention that they’re boring and just plain old. We wanted to grow up, and swore that when we did, we wouldn’t be like them.

I saw a younger version of myself this past weekend – the little girl who wanted to be like my older sisters, or find someone who would play with me. I saw it when my nieces ran down the stairs to show me the makeup they had messily put on, and when my nephew continually asked me to play ball with him. I wanted to tell the girls to put away the makeup – they were prettier without it and that women would die to have their natural highlights. Just as I wanted to tell my nephew to always play sports outside – that kickball and playing catch were more fun than joining a gym. Not to mention that I wanted to take him back with me so I’d have someone to play those games with again. Remember how kick-ass dodge ball was?

But I didn’t say any of these things because they either wouldn’t have heard it, or thought I was one of those crazy grown-ups. They need to find it out for themselves, and better yet, enjoy being a kid, which includes dreaming about growing up.