The Slice: Need a costume? Give ‘74 Richard Nixon a try

It’s time to start thinking about your Halloween party costume. As always, The Slice recommends going with a locally flavored theme. Here are a few ideas, just to get you started.

“Zombie Richard Nixon.” You just need a mask, a dark suit and a willingness to go around declaring Expo ‘74 officially open.

“The Creature from the Garage (classic car restorer).” Calls for coveralls, grease stains and an eagerness to talk about a 1959 Studebaker.

“Lewis, Clark and (your last name here).” Dress up as an intrepid explorer. Make the case that one of your distant relatives should have shared top billing but lost out in a nasty squabble over residuals. Requires three people.

“The Human Bandwagon Jumper.” You can portray the biggest fan of Spokane area sports teams (so long as they win). Face-paint and air-horn optional.

“Buffet Man.” Costume could include a bib and elastic-waistband pants.

“Single Woman.” No special outfit required. But you have to smile when asked, “So are you seeing anyone?” or nod when told “Maybe your standards are too high.”

“Pothole Boy.” Carry a hubcap and look dazed.

“Hoopfest’s biggest whiner.” More a performance than a costume, this would feature complaining for the duration of the party.

“Guy standing out in front of the STA Plaza.” You’ll need to be a cigarette smoker to pull this off.

“Letter to the editor writer.” Look angry.

“Lilac Princess 20 years later.” Start with bright and perky, then tack on a couple decades of real life.

“Member of a Spokane arts board.” Your outfit is less important than your commitment to gossip and getting someone fired.

“Unlicensed, unfixed canine.” Wear dog costume and attach yourself to the legs of other partygoers.

“The Fiendish Dr. Fluoride.” Rent Dracula get-up, carry a plastic bag full of a mysterious white powder and do a lot of maniacal cackling.

“Reading group meanie.” Emit scoffing snorts.

“The Amazing Grain Girl.” You have the power to turn cell-phone boors into gluten.

“In training for Bloomsday.” This would require a designated driver.

“A cliché runs through him.” Dress up like a fly fisherman and babble a lot of mytho-poetic nonsense about your oneness with nature.

“Cultural elitist who just got the tar beaten out of him by some guy with a mullet.” Opportunity here for fake blood.

“Golfer and caddy.” The person playing the golfer does a lot of cursing while the clubs-carrying caddy focuses on eye-rolling.

“The ghost of Father O’Malley.” A priest’s collar, a little “ba ba ba-boo” and your salute to Bing Crosby is halfway home.

“The Telltale Whammy.” Dress up as a haunting burger people keep retasting.

•Today’s Slice question: What local stores have the best/worst rooms for trying on clothes?