Thrones no match for the big bubble

If we don’t have enough to worry about, there’s a rogue air bubble on the loose. Laugh if you must. But Gail Melton of Post Falls didn’t the other day when she flushed her toilet. It and another one in the house exploded. Think Mount St. Helens – only with air, not steam, volcanic ash or water. Hubby James came home from elk hunting to find a frazzled wife eyeing the toilets as if they were something out of a Stephen King novel. James called the cops, the fire department and opened all the taps to allow the air to whoosh out. His theory? Someone tried to blow out a neighboring sprinkler system and tapped into the main neighborhood line. But a sprinkler pro we know thinks otherwise. Mebbe a city crew created the rogue air bubble while working on a nearby fire hydrant, he guessed. Or mebbe there’s something out there – something alien and hostile – waiting for you to linger too long with your Reader’s Digest in the “library.” Cue up “Twilight Zone” music.

Pregnant pause

Repub U.S. Sen. Larry Craig had the Wallace High gummint class entranced as he explained why Dubya was the man although John Kerry debated better. A lunch bucket D describes the scene: “Like a slick snake oil salesman, Craig led the young unsuspecting audience down a series of leading questions. ‘What candidate has better morals?’ he purred.” His shoes were so bright they reflected the lights overhead. “What candidate is more dependable? What candidate believes in strong defense?” He went on and on until everyone knew he was about to shout “Shrub’s” name. Only, lunch-bucket D Iris Byrne stole his punch line, yelling “John Kerry.” Every head turned toward her. She smiled. She waved. And she whispered to no one in particular: “Sometimes, I almost feel guilty.” Almost.

Quotable quote

“I’ve heard Mike Casey’s approach that says if only we could just cut taxes and regulations, it would be fine. How far do we go? Do we go to Idaho’s level? Or India’s?” – Washington state Sen. Lisa Brown, D-Spokane (The Inlander). Idaho’s? Methinks any of Kootenai County’s three legislative districts are in better shape than hers. Lefty Lisa could learn something by studying Idaho’s tax structure.

Poet’s corner

“Ron Rankin has left us/And we now say goodbye./He was not always right,/But he was Semper Fi” – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“Farewell”) … Long ago, Rankin, the ex-Kootenai County commish who died Tuesday, told Big John Rook he wanted this simple inscription on his tombstone: “A hard dog to keep under the porch” … After Ron’s recent double bypass surgery, I got this note from daughter Kerri Thoreson: “I’m happy to report that he’s doing well and, even though he’ll be in ICU overnight, is expected to fully recover. In fact, he’ll no doubt be providing fodder for the newsroom in plenty of time for the upcoming elections.” And that’s what Huckleberries’ll miss most this year … By the way, the surgery was successful, and Ron’s heart was operating fine. He died from internal bleeding.

Huckleberries

What do the numbers 30, 62, 1st and 22 have in common? Donna Messenger, the ex-CdA prep coach/teacher, and hubby, Bill, just welcomed their 30th grandchild. Donna’s 62. Next month, she’ll run in her first marathon in 22 years – the New York City one. And we get tired walking to the mailbox and back … Overheard, at the Spokane Symphony performance at Wallace High: “Where else can you get a buck in the morning, pack it up and out, and hear this stuff in the evening?” … And where else will you find this police problem report other than Benewah County, Idaho? “We chased a cow all over Main Street this morning” …

Parting shot

“When I voted (absentee) today, I could not bring myself to vote for Hagadone’s latest mouthpiece, Katie Brodie, so I wrote in Ron Rankin as a protest/memorial vote. I figured it was a great way to symbolically memorialize his service to us here in North Idaho. He would definitely understand tilting at windmills.” – Don K. O’Tay, a disillusioned Kootenai County voter.