‘I felt like I came home’

The cool water washed over her body, cleansing her as she submerged in the spiritual bath.

When she emerged from the mikvah — the pool in which traditional Jews immerse themselves for ritual purification, Susan Windham was a new woman.

In spirit, she became a daughter of Abraham. Her new name was Myriam, just like Moses’ sister.

After a long religious journey she began as a conservative Christian, Windham just recently discovered her true spiritual calling: She became a Jew.

“I felt like I came home,” she said, recalling the mikvah earlier this year that marked her conversion to Reform Judaism, the most liberal and pragmatic strand of Judaism.

The Spokane resident, who is a notable soprano here, will celebrate her first High Holy Days as the soloist for Congregation Beth Haverim’s services. The holiest time of year for Jews all over the world, the 10-day period known as Yamim Noraim begins with Rosh Hashanah at sundown on Wednesday and continues through next week with Yom Kippur.

Windham, who turned 50 last week, was hesitant at first to talk about her newly found faith. She doesn’t want to sound as though she’s proselytizing, she said. Nor does she wish to speak ill of her Christian upbringing, for which she will always be grateful, she said.

But her spiritual quest is an unusual one, she acknowledged. In many ways, her longing to become a Jew was akin to a gay man seeking to come out of the closet, she said. She couldn’t continue being something she wasn’t, she said. In order to find fulfillment in her life, she had to become a Jew — even if her husband and their two sons remained members of a liberal Christian congregation.

“It was a matter of orientation,” said Windham, who has been married for nearly two decades to Verne Windham, renowned conductor, musician and the music and arts director of KPBX public radio. Verne and the kids have been extremely supportive of Susan Windham’s conversion. Although Susan Windham attends services at Beth Haverim and Temple Beth Shalom on Friday nights, she still goes to Westminster Congregational United Church of Christ on most Sundays with her family.

While some religions readily embrace new members, becoming a Jew isn’t commonplace, said Louisa Rose, a board member of Congregation Beth Haverim. Nor is it easy.

Strict guidelines govern the acceptance of converts to Judaism, especially among Orthodox and most Conservative Jews. Requirements include circumcision for men, immersion in a mikvah and the declaration of acceptance of the Torah. A religious conversion to Judaism is irreversible.

Although Reform Judaism is more lenient, Susan Windham’s conversion to Judaism took more than a year and countless hours of study. Throughout every step of the way, Jews who helped her learn more about the faith continued to question her intentions. Even at the very end, just as she was about to plunge into the mikvah, the Seattle rabbi who presided over the ceremony asked her one last time if she truly wanted to follow the Jewish faith.

“It would’ve been tidier if I had remained a Christian,” she said. “But it came down to answering the question, ‘Who are you?’ “

As she looked back and reflected upon her journey toward Judaism, Susan Windham said she had inklings from an early age that she was meant to be a Jew.

Windham grew up in Long Beach, Wash., in a conservative Baptist home. Four times a week, they attended a church with lots of Bible study and where music dominated the service. “The people had an exuberant affection toward God,” Windham fondly recalled. From early on, she memorized obscure Bible verses and sang traditional hymns.

Although she never questioned the teachings of the church, Windham found herself drawn to the Old Testament, known to Jews as Hebrew Scripture. “That was when the Word of God spoke to me,” she said. Her “soul would leap,” she recalled, every time a Jewish man who converted to Christianity read out loud in church. There was something about his manner, something she still can’t explain, that drew her to his words.

Windham gradually stopped attending the church of her childhood after moving to Cheney, where she studied music at Eastern Washington University. As she learned more about Scripture, she could no longer rely on the literal interpretation of the Bible. Life and all its complexities didn’t match the fundamentalist perspective that her parents and church once shaped. “I could no longer be evangelical Christian,” she said. “I wanted Scripture on my own terms.”

Windham ended up attending Westminster with her family in the late ‘80s. But something still gnawed at her, particularly during those times when she was asked to play piano or sing during Jewish functions in town. “Something came alive in me,” she said. “There was something about the Jewish faith that was compelling.”

Five years ago, she broke down in tears as she tried to explain that deep yearning to a Jewish friend. So Windham explored it by spending more time with Hy Nelson, a member of Temple Beth Shalom and a World War II soldier who helped liberate the Buchenwald Concentration Camp. For several months, until he died at the age of 88 in October 1999, Nelson patiently answered her questions and demanded that she carefully reflect on her intentions and the consequences of becoming a Jew. “He was a mensch, a good man,” Windham said, her eyes brimming with tears.

Windham also started attending Torah services at Temple Beth Shalom and talking to Rabbi Jack Izakson. In the end, she chose to join the Reform branch of Judaism. The board of Congregation Beth Haverim supervised her informal studies, which included reading books about Jewish history, customs and theology. Windham is the first convert at the congregation since it began four years ago, Rose said. She’s also extremely unusual because most converts decide to become Jewish because of their spouses.

In honor of Windham’s conversion, a composer friend, Lee Kesselman, wrote a piece that will be performed during the services. It is called “Hineni,” Hebrew for “Here I Am,” and a word that summarizes her feelings about her Jewish faith.

Besides being “wired” for Judaism, Windham said she was drawn to the traditions and teachings — “gems you explore to help you become more present to your Creator.” The rituals help her realize the sacredness of the moment and the importance of being mindful, she said.

Some Jewish friends were worried that leaving her Christian roots would only bring trouble for her. That hasn’t been the case, she said. Becoming Jewish meant finding her true self and discovering her purpose in the world.

“I gained the alignment of my soul,” she said.