Pop the question but know there’s risk of rejection
Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I, both 27, have been seeing each other for two years, and living together for the past seven months. Everything is going great, and we’ve mentioned marriage. The problem is, “Jerry” shows no signs of proposing. I’ve dropped subtle hints, but I don’t want to force the issue.
I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, and he’s told me that he never wants to be without me. I’ve been thinking about proposing to him. Do you think I should? If so, what is the proper way to do it? Do I give him a ring? Please help me, Annie. No one else can give me advice. — Ready To Pop the Question in Kentucky
Dear Ready: It’s perfectly OK for you to propose, but understand that you run the risk of rejection. If Jerry hasn’t worked up the nerve to do it after two years, he may have a reason. However, if you are confident he wants to spend his life with you, we think you should go all out. You don’t need a ring, but do plan a romantic evening. You can even get down on one knee if you are so inclined. Most guys would be quite flattered and thrilled. And after all, 2004 is a leap year.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Misdiagnosed,” the widow who tested positive for HIV and can no longer donate blood, even though the results were false. My husband had the same problem with the Red Cross. He also got a second false positive when applying for life insurance, and his rates went through the roof. He made an appointment with an endocrinologist, who discovered my husband has a rare genetic blood disorder that doesn’t affect his health or the blood supply.
A few years ago, he called the Red Cross to try again and was told about the Food and Drug Administration regulations. He then called the FDA and found out those are guidelines only and blood banks can make their own decisions. My husband again called the Red Cross and was told they would take his blood only after it was thoroughly tested by personnel on their approved list and oh, by the way, he would have to pay for the testing ($200). My husband now donates through the local blood center or hospital. — A Weary, Determined Donor
Dear Weary: You weren’t the only ones with this problem. Here’s more:
From Boston: I also was misdiagnosed as HIV-positive, but the experience caused me to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. I received a letter saying that I may or may not be infected, and there was no number to call to get information. I was hysterical for the next 12 hours. It took me a long time and a lot of therapy to get over this, and I still suffer occasional panic attacks. The Red Cross does a lot of good for many people, but I believe this is a significant problem. I found out through research that this happens to a lot of people, and that it’s usually due to laboratory error.
New York: I had been giving blood every three months, and the last test came back positive for Hepatitis B. I called my family physician, and he drew blood (at a cost of $200). The results were negative. He then phoned the blood bank and was told there had been a problem with a batch of the testing materials.
Southwest: I’ve donated 30 pints of my O-positive blood over my lifetime but have been refused several times since 1994 due to a false positive for hepatitis. No one wants a tainted blood supply, but it boils me when there are frantic pleas for blood donations and I am deferred. There should be a way we “misdiagnosed” donors can be cleared once and for all.