Name seems to have been borrowed

First, it’s important to establish that David Martin, 66, of Hayden has never had a student loan, although he attended several colleges in the ‘60s, including Texas Christian and University of Nebraska. Next, it’s crucial to note that his middle initial is L, as in Lee, rather than J. Onward. Seems credit agencies have been hounding this Seasoned Citizen because Sallie Mae Servicing can’t tell David L. here from David J. somewhere else. D.J. Martin owes $13,398 and a $155.20 monthly premium, but he’s never lived on Dover Lane in Hayden. Nor does he share D.L.’s Social Security number. But that hasn’t stopped Sallie Mae from hounding the Party of the Second Part. Nor has it prompted the bureaucrats fielding David L’s many calls to correct the situation. Sez David L: “As a person who is older and closer each day to death, time has become the most valuable commodity that I have. And Sallie Mae has consumed way too much of my valuable and limited time.”

Gotcha

An easy direction that motorcycle cop gave Dan English was how to pay his 45-in-a-35 speeding ticket to the clerk of the court. Which happens to be Dan. Seems Dan was hurrying to get his wife, Cory, to work on time at Kootenai Medical Center when he punched it through a light on Highway 95, just north of Appleway, and noticed the CPD Blue at the same intersection. Cory thought about making a run for it because she was late to an important conference but stayed. This, while a Berry Picker noted the vanity plate on Dan’s gray rig: “GOVOTE.” Afterward, Dan philosophized: “I should be glad I instituted a program a few years back so people (me) can pay the ticket via credit card! You know, so I can get those infrequent flyer miles.” And higher insurance rates?

Stupid criminals

Razzberries (or “Why perv John Rollins Tuggle got caught in Wallace): 1. He was the first contestant to be voted off “Survivor: Shoshone County;” 2. Stupid is as stupid does; 3. Euell Gibbons he’s not; 4. 3-for-1 hot dog special at Wallace’s Conoco was too much to pass up; 5. What’s the use modeling a camouflage, macho survivalist outfit if no one’s around to see it? … Poet’s Corner: “They searched with men and with dogs/They searched the woods and the bogs/Tuggle crept from the woods/For edible goods/And was arrested after buying HOT DOGS!” – Rant ‘N Rave With CDADave blog (“The Capture of John Rollins Tuggle”) … “Sam, the best gift you can give yourself is to live to celebrate a 22nd birthday. Feeling the glow, having fun with or without mass quantities of alcohol is a rite of passage, too. Be smart, be safe, have fun” – advice to UI senior-to-be Sam Taylor by Huckleberries Online commenters after he asked on his Vandal Sense blog about good ways to survive his 21st birthday (which occurred Friday).

Another milestone

In the “Good Gals Find A Way” category, Tara LaCelle-Miller birthed 6-pound, 9-ounce Karsyn Kyle Miller July 9. The big deal? Tara’s the gal who was paralyzed below the waist after being hit in the back by a bullet accidentally fired through a wall shared with the next apartment. Since then, she’s married Kyle Miller, accomplishing her goal to “walk” down the aisle with the aid of braces and relatives, forgave her assailant and appeared with him on national TV. Simply amazing … Oopsy: That “Good Greif … Kadee … 9 lbs” readerboard sign at the CdA downtown fire station was spelled entirely correctly, sez Kadee’s Proud Poppa Tom Greif, who’s probably spent his life explaining to reporters why “E” comes before “I” in firefighter names … That rumbling you heard at CdA’s Forest Cemetery was leatherneck Ron Rankin rolling over because I referred to the guy who broke up that Bayview Daze cat fight earlier this month as an “ex-Marine.” I know. I know. Once a Marine, always a Marine.

Huckleberries

In Post Falls, D.J. Nall of Hauser, spotted a Mickey D billboard advertising job openings for $6.75, while Taco Bell down the street was offering $7. Hey, don’t laugh, Idaho’s minimum wage is $5.15 … The reason CdA’s Phil Corless didn’t respond as the Little Old Ladies at Coldwater Creek did when he heard his daughter shriek from the public restroom? He knew his wife was with his Little One. And smiled to himself when a Seasoned Citizen reported back that a little girl had seen a spider … Bumpersnicker: “Guns don’t kill people, people with cell phones do” … Sign of the times: “Marriage isn’t math. Don’t multiply and then divide” – sightem by Kelly Richards on a Priest River business … In civilized society, you appeal to the courts if someone allegedly vandalizes your rig. In Bayview, you chain his $10,000 1968 Harley to the back of your rig, set it on fire, drag it three times through town – and call yourself even. Where’s Judge Judy when you need her?

Parting Shot

Didja hear the one about The Coeur d’Alene Resort driver who slammed on his brakes despite the green light because a pedestrian was jaywalking? He: “Pay more attention to the lights.” She: “Ah, go back to California!” That’s our answer to everything that bugs us North Idahoans.