Crisis at park just cannot be papered over

During the recent Art on the Green weekend, resourceful women in a CdA City Park restroom performed their version of Jerry Seinfeld’s “Spare A Square” episode – you know, the one that opens with Elaine and Jerry’s female friends side-by-side in restroom stalls. Elaine asks for a few squares of toilet paper because her cubicle is out. But Jerry’s galpal won’t spare a square. Onward. Seems local women were down to their last few tissues on the busy weekend when some sisters took drastic action, doling out squares as though they were winning lottery tickets to appreciative femmes. Parks Director Doug Eastwood told Huckleberries later that the city had plenty of tissue stored nearby. But that was small comfort for the uncomfortable women.

Lake CdA SOS kit

First, you should know that K-County Commissioner Rick Currie has said that marine deputies wouldn’t help him out if he had boat trouble on Lake Coeur d’Alene because (drum roll, puh-LEEZ) – he’s a bald man. Now, fast forward to the recent commish meeting. During public comment, Sheriff Rocky Watson presented Currie with an “emergency kit” containing a ratty blond wig and skimpy halter top. As Commish Rick reddened and refused to model the gift, Rocky joked that the clerks at the thrift store wanted him to get two bowling balls to complete the outfit, but he decided that’d be going too far. Good call.

Scared stiff

Recently, while my wife and I were walking our dog, we encountered a 6- or 7-year-old girl in front of some apartments by the Project CDA playfield. She seemed out of place. Frightened. So, we asked if something was wrong. She said her older sister had left her there, and she was scared. Why? “I heard someone around here kidnapped a little boy and a little girl,” she whispered. She was so frightened by the Groene kidnappings/killings she didn’t want to risk walking by an empty field in the advancing darkness to her home a block away. We escorted her back home. And wondered what kind of world we’re leaving for the kids.

A happy ending

While you were sleeping a coupla weeks ago, Sid Fredrickson’s crew at the CdA Wastewater Treatment Plant was engaged in a daring rescue. Seems seven ducklings had fallen into a collection trough and were in danger of being swept into underground piping and drowning. As you can imagine, their Mother Duck was distraught. Enter the valiant City Worker Bees who herded the seven ducklings – Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Bashful, Doc and Happy – together, caught them, and placed them in a bucket. The story ended at riverside with the crew releasing the rescued ducklings into their mother’s care. Aw.

Poet’s corner

An eccentric old fellow named Fred/often catches small perch on a thread./He likes them for grilling/and finds them quite filling/because each one is chock full of lead – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“Lake CdA Fisherman”) … Quotable Quote: “We get shot at sometimes but you rarely can tell where it comes from or if it even (is) at you. If there are puffs of dirt or clang of metal then we duck our heads. Otherwise, it is not abnormal to hear automatic weapons fire celebrating weddings or Iraqi security forces firing warning shots at people” – an e-mail home from Sgt. Ryan Couch, a Lake City High grad now stationed in Kurkik, Iraq … As he passed a traffic stop with an upset young man behind the wheel of a small car last week, Undersheriff Gary Cuff chuckled when he saw the bumpersnicker on the speeder’s rear window: “Don’t Panic.” Easier said than done.

Huckleberries

In the “only in Idaho” category, one of the strangest contraptions at CdA’s Art on the Green was a makeshift baby carriage pushed by two visitors, featuring a lawn mower body with a laundry basket bolted in place where an engine had been. Don’t laugh. No less a notable than CdA blogger Bill McCrory/Whitecaps described it as “very, very ingenious. Nice paint job on the mower body, too” … Huckleberries hears, via mutual friend and radio pioneer John Rook, that old crooner Pat Boone has collected three paintings by North Idaho artist Stephen Shortridge. Shortridge paintings are the rage among entertainment celebs … Scanner Traffic: CPD Blue fielded a frantic call about a missing 3-year-old that was rescinded when the tot was found sleeping under the dining room table. Better safe than sorry.

Parting shot

Let’s return to the City Park privy for a moment, where Eastwood, the parks director, spots a 10-year-old goofball clogging a toilet with hand towels that stretch 30 feet back to the dispenser. What’re you doing that for? growls Doug. “What would anyone do it for?” replies the vandal. At that point, Doug identifies himself and tells the scofflaw to take a hike. And you wonder why public toilets run out of tissue and hand towels?