We can’t afford to ignore child sex abuse

What a wake-up call. It has been very painful for our community to read in The Spokesman-Review about the issues of youth sexual abuse which have occurred and likely continue to occur right here, while we were watching but not able to see. Most of us prefer to think that such things occur only in other towns, other neighborhoods, other schools and churches, not in our own.

Since youth sexual abuse doesn’t make any sense to us we try to come up with alternate explanations: The abuse occurs only to youth who provoke it or deserve it, or these kids just made it up.

It is cognitive dissonance that makes us unable to see that people who serve the adult community well in a number of capacities may also have a buried shadow pattern of preying sexually on younger people. It makes no sense that otherwise upstanding members of the community are capable of creating such harm.

These abuses and patterns of abuse need to come to the light of day. Hidden abuse grows like fungus and rots in the dark and hidden places of our psyches, and goes from there into our communities. Those who have been victimized as well as the victimizers are at risk for more abuse.

I encourage those who think it’s “no big deal” and people should “just get over it” to read the extensive research which shows not only the long-term psychological harm but also the long-term social, environmental and financial costs of child/youth sexual abuse. Whether it’s minor surgery, famine, poverty or sexual abuse, it is often hard to imagine the breadth and depth of the problem until you have seen it, worked with it, experienced it, treated it. Sexual abuse is not only a form of sexual violation, it is fundamentally a betrayal of a youngster’s spirit, a form of soul murder.

Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

It would be like not investigating hepatitis A outbreaks and telling the people who got hepatitis that they probably just think they have hepatitis, or they must have done it to themselves, or complaining might harm the restaurant’s business. The outcome: More people get hepatitis. Physicians don’t have the option of deciding it’s not nice to complain.

This sexual abuse of youth, horrible in all instances but especially horrible when the offenders masquerade as model citizens to get access to the youth, is a public health issue. It acts in many ways like an infectious disease and must be treated for the good of all. We must treat not only the episodes of these outbreaks but also the root cause. We must demand investigation at the level of a public health inquiry.

The other strategy for denial is to blame the victim, saying these accusations don’t matter because the accuser is “youth-at-risk” to begin with. Most pedophiles target vulnerable youth. Interviews with imprisoned abusers show they select the lonely, shy and vulnerable. It’s a double whammy then not to believe them.

Of course, there are some false accusations, and just being accused of something does not mean you did it, and all these accused have the right to be fully investigated and fairly heard and fairly defended, as do the accusers. The ratio of true to false is approximately 20:1 according to some studies. That means that the overwhelming likelihood is that there is some merit to accusations, and they deserve investigation, not dismissal.

The chance that a bomb scare is legit is about one in 20, but no one wants to take the chance. Why take the chance with this other form of violence?

In many cases where the offender is a prominent member of the community (a teacher, a coach, a health professional, a minister) the accusation can tear that community — that school, that church, etc. — apart. We have to begin working together as a community to reveal this insidious issue and heal the injured, both victims and victimizers. We must learn the truth, avoid opinions that have no basis in fact, and stop the conspiracy of silence which allows abuse to continue.

Dedicated physicians and therapists in this town have been fighting the epidemic of child sexual abuse for many years, but they have been doing it case-by-case, working with the victims, unable to do anything to prevent abuse. We need the media, public health, schools, churches and civic organizations to call for investigation and observation and the development of guidelines to protect the health of our children.

Most of all, we have to work together to rebuild our community with the intention of being wiser eyes as we look out for all families and children. May our smart and capable community show the courage and strength of character to ask the questions, do the investigations, listen to the unpleasant issues being raised and create a safe, healthful community for all. May the restoration of wholeness be possible for all who have been harmed.