Nicely ask he be clothed in your presence

Dear Annie: I am a 16-year-old girl, and I have a problem with the kids I baby-sit. Every Thursday I watch two kids, ages 9 and 6, for five hours. I like the job. The kids are pretty good, and I get paid well.

The problem is when I put them to bed. They like to sleep in the nude and often roam around the house completely naked just before bed. They see nothing wrong with this. I think it is inappropriate behavior for a 9-year-old boy, and I certainly don’t appreciate seeing him without his clothes.

By the way, the parents don’t see anything wrong with this, either. When I first started baby-sitting these kids two years ago, I figured it was OK because they were so young, but now it seems a little weird.

What do you think? How can I tell them politely that I’d like the kids to have pajamas on when I’m there? – Blushing Baby Sitter

Dear Blushing: The parents get to decide if their children sleep in the nude. However, most baby sitters would blush to see a 9-year-old boy running around naked, and he should put something on out of consideration for you.

You need to talk to the parents about this in a way that doesn’t question their authority. Tell them you are uncomfortable and embarrassed to see their son without his clothes and ask if he can please put something on when he is in your presence.

Dear Annie: I am a 61-year-old female, currently unemployed. My husband is retired, and we are living on his pension.

My nephew was in town and asked if he could spend the night with us. I said sure. He came with his wife and two teenage children. We fed them lunch when they arrived, took them out to dinner, and fed them breakfast before they left the following day.

My husband feels that the dinner was exorbitant (even though we picked the restaurant) and that my nephew should have paid a portion of the bill. My nephew offered to leave the tip, but my husband said, “No, it’s OK.” Now, he’s offended.

So, Annie, when company comes to spend the night, are the hosts obligated to feed them for the entire stay? – Perplexed Now in Michigan

Dear Perplexed: Hosts have an obligation to provide for their guests. However, a gracious guest will thank the hosts by bringing a gift, and/or taking them out for a meal. Since your husband refused your nephew’s offer of a tip, however, he gave the impression that the offer was unnecessary and unwelcome. We say he has no grounds to complain now.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from the woman whose mother uses a fly swatter to discipline the grandchildren. My mother also used a fly swatter for disciplining, and I am now a 50-year-old woman who will not go near one. What terrified me the most was looking at that blood-stained plastic coming at me, making contact with my bare arms and legs. I used to have nightmares about it, and to this day I refuse to use a fly swatter. People think I’m crazy, but I’d rather let the fly out the window.

I didn’t spank my children, and they grew up just fine. Kids’ behavior is rarely as bad as parents think at the moment and never deserves a beating. Just relax, parents, and take a deep breath. Would you want a great big 9-foot person using a weapon on you? That’s what you look like to a child. – Lived It in Louisville, Ky.

Dear Louisville: Parents, in the heat of their anger, often forget that it is natural for a child to make mistakes and occasionally misbehave. Hitting them is never the answer.