The Slice: It was a command performance

In some families, there’s still a chain of command.

“My granddaughter, Stacey, and her daughter, Zanna, came down to get my Xmas decorations out of the storage locker and put them up for me,” wrote Barbara Jones. “It was amazing how tender that 3-year-old was with some of my decorations.”

After they had finished, Stacey told Zanna it was time for them to go. Jones said she would hate to see the two of them leave.

So young Zanna had to explain how things work. “She’s the boss,” she said, referring to her mom.

After her visitors left, Jones found herself wishing more children had a similar understanding of the parent-child relationship.

“The root of all troubles: One of hospital chaplain Julianne Dickelman’s male colleagues shared an observation with her.

“Ever think of it — most of women’s problems begin with men: MENopause, MENstruation, MENtal health. Go figure.”

Said Dickelman, “Glad he’s taking responsibility.”

Yeah, but he forgot to MENtion mending and mentoring. Of course, he also left out menacing and mendacity. So never mind.

“Slice answer: The most frequently uttered expression around here before someone tosses back an alcoholic drink?

Mary Cayer thinks it has to be the word “Go” followed by the name of various local sports teams.

“Ideas for car-alarm sounds: 1. Cougar’s snarl. 2. Marmot’s whistle. 3. Nervous, fake laugh.

“Today’s totally made-up snowboarder slang: “Panda Cub.” Refers to a snowboarder of either gender who is impossibly cute.

“Building a future.” Mocking description of someone who is reluctant to blow off his or her job and hit the slopes with extremely unemployed pals.

“Burl Ives.” Derisive description of a baby boomer who expresses an interest in contemporary music.

“Pet Names Department: Maria Washington’s 4-year-old granddaughter, Iris, recently received a black kitten. Rejecting all suggestions from her parents, she decided to name the cat “Hotdog.”

“Slice answer: “Yes, you can help solve mechanical problems with a good whack,” wrote Tom Boden. “Why do you think your favorite auto mechanic has a whole toolbox drawer full of hammers?”

“Identity theft: After an early December snowfall, a little girl and little boy were running circles around a bush in a South Hill yard. The girl, who might be kindergarten age, delightedly squealed, “I’m Snowy Girl.”

The boy, who is younger, was hot on her heels. He, too, called out, “I’m Snowy Girl.”

Time out, the girl said. Then she explained to the lad that he was Snowy BOY.

The gender ground rules thus established, the frolic resumed.

“Today’s Slice question: E-mail Christmas cards: yes or no?