The Slice: Can’t bear to see them disappear

Little kids might not readily grasp the whole auctioned-for-charity concept.

So when the downtown art bears disappear this fall, it might be wise to be ready with an explanation or two.

“They kept mauling shoppers and had to be relocated.”

“They’re looking for places to hibernate.”

“They got tired of sitting around waiting for something to happen.”

“Dog days: Just about everyone knows KREM’s Tom Sherry has a likable dog called Doppler. But did you know he is not the only broadcast meteorologist with a pooch named that?

According to something I read, the Weather Channel’s Heather Tesch owns a dog called Doppler. And in Houston, one TV station named its weather dog Radar, prompting a rival station to name a Chia Pet Doppler.

“I was first,” Sherry assured me.

His Doppler, a dog with countless friends, turned 10 earlier this month.

“Slice answer (complete this song lyric): “If I can make it in Spokane … I’ll still be considered a hick in Seattle.” — Jim Virgil, Coeur d’Alene

“Just wondering: What’s keeping you from playing music as loud as you want whenever you want at home?

A) That pounding on the wall from the next apartment. B) Nothing. C) Certain members of your family would object. D) Somewhere along the way, you got old. E) Other.

“Additional “War of the Worlds” localizing (re: last Saturday’s Slice): “The most probable way Spokane would respond would be to immediately appoint a committee to do a study,” said Fran Jones.

Jerry Barnhart said the Spokane City Council would enact an I&O tax (Invasion and Occupation).

And Deborah Chan said Spokane Valley would work up a serious case of paranoia over possible land annexations by the aliens.

“Let’s see a show of hands: How many of you attended the Inland Northwest’s small-scale “Woodstock” at Farragut State Park in July 1971?

From all accounts, there was a lot of sex, drugs and forgettable rock and roll.

“No, you aren’t the only one who… : Assumes that most people parking in handicapped spots have no right to do so.

“Warm-up question: Ever know of an unmarried person who wore a fake wedding ring on the job as a way to help deflect unsolicited advances?

“Today’s Slice question (finish this sentence): “Compared to a few decades ago, the people populating my profession today tend to be…”

A) Complete and utter weenies. B) Far better trained. C) Drunk less often. D) Content to stare at a computer screen all day. E) Female. F) Under the hilarious impression that they invented the wheel. G) My profession didn’t exist back then. H) At least vaguely aware of why racism and sexual harassment are bad. I) Far more flexible about adapting to change. J) Other.