The Slice: You mean you really didn’t notice the chafing?

Next time you weigh yourself, remember to deduct a pound for sand that made its way into small bodily openings and never came out. Better make that two pounds. OK, let’s move on.

“ Slice answer: “I have never experienced the trauma of major outbreaks of grotesque sores, however, I never fail to gain at least 10 pounds shortly before any kind of class reunion,” wrote Marilyn Daniels.

“ Failure to communicate: Sutun Warren was in a local department store, looking at makeup brushes. In examining one, she read that its hair came from a squirrel.

“I instantly put the brush down and started to walk away from the display,” she wrote.

A saleswoman intercepted her and offered to show her some of the brushes. And the first one she chose happened to be the one Warren had just held.

“I told her that I had already been looking at that brand, but discovered they were made of squirrel hair, which kind of repulsed me.”

The saleswoman looked Warren in the eye and tried to put her mind at ease. “But they didn’t hurt the squirrels to get the hair,” she said.

“ Just wondering: When that one Spokane radio show starts with the theme from “The Avengers” TV series each weekday at about 6:01 a.m., do you find yourself thinking about Mrs. Peel for a moment?

“ Mysteries of the universe: 1. There are people who enjoy diet soft drinks.

2. A lot of people apparently think executive compensation packages and big-time college sports make sense.

3. There are individuals who exercise and smoke.

4. Some people draw up wills without ever specifying who will get the iron skillet.

5. Those wearing bike helmets are impossible to recognize.

6. You know the people who write country songs openly hostile to those in upper income strata? Well, does it occur to anyone that a lot of these same songwriters/producers aren’t exactly working class themselves?

7. It’s practically a cultural norm now that people behave abysmally in movie theaters and yet Hollywood seems baffled about why box office numbers would be in decline.

8. People famous for being celebrities.

9. Tattoos.

10. Why would people who never go near the water crave hot weather?

“ Praise for your column host: A Slice reader who hasn’t met me was talking to a woman who has. She said she imagined I was “A crusty old guy.”

I’ve been called worse.

“ Slice answers (all-time best-looking local TV anchor): “Nadine Woodward wins in all categories,” wrote Phil Ruff of Kellogg.

Mary Ann Murphy, Scott Campbell and Monte McConnell voted for Debra Wilde.

Heather Leveque named Ed Sharman.

“ Today’s Slice question (suggested by Sandpoint’s Rick Price): What is the area’s best public beach?