Church bulletin bloopers find following

It has long been said that to err is human. But to forgive mistakes in church bulletins may be divine.

If the number of bulletin bloopers is any indication, the need for forgiveness is great. The unintended funnies, often passed around on the Internet, give the spiritually minded an excuse to let loose with a belly laugh.

“Things are so solemn, grave and violent, we need to lighten up,” said Cal Samra, editor of the Joyful Noiseletter, a Portage, Mich., publication that collects unfortunate typos that find themselves in church pews.

Samra says the bloopers he prints have been verified as authentic. However, certain identifying factors are occasionally omitted, he said, to prevent potentially embarrassing situations from being made public.

Here is a sampling:

“ “The church had a going-away party for the pastor. The congregation was anxious to give him a little momentum.”

“ “John Smith, ordained as a deamon, will pastor two churches in Fannin County.”

“ “We will have a special holiday bingo and dinner on Monday evening. You will be given two bingo packs, which cover all games played, and your choice of children or roast beef for dinner.”

“ “Please drop off diapers, size 3, at the Saint Raphael’s parish office during regular office hours for Sister Jane.”

The collecting of ecclesiastical errors has spread overseas. In the United Kingdom, the “Parish Pump Church Magazine Misprint Competition 2005” is under way, sponsored by Britain’s biggest online Christian magazine, shipoffools.com.

The Web site regularly posts “the 10 most recent gaffes, blunders and Freudian slips from sermons, prayers and church newsletters, as seen and heard by our readers.”

It adds: “All painful examples are gratefully received.”

The site discovered that British churchgoers at one congregation were invited to “prayer and medication,” while another offered socializing over “coffee and mice pies.” A church trying to reach out to Americans asked folks to attend “a Super Bowel Party.”

While the aforementioned slip-ups have been verified, others have been repeated so often on Web sites and in e-mails worldwide that they have become urban legends:

“ “Don’t let worry kill you – let the church help.”

“ “Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.”

“ “A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.”

“ “The associate pastor unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan: ‘I upped my pledge – up yours.’ “

“”Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.”