The Slice: It’s all just a conspiracy to get people to drink more

BILL AND BEE Strite bought a case of beer. The package was adorned with a rebate offer. So the Strites filled out and mailed in the coupon — to a P.O. box in Texas.

But instead of a check, the Strites received a letter from the Miller Brewing Co. It said in part, “As stated in the offer requirements, requests from P.O. Boxes will not be honored.”

So the Strites, who live in Davenport, wrote back — to a P.O. box in Minnesota.

“We live within the city limits of a rural town. We do not get door-to-door mail service and all local people have to go to the local post office.”

The Strites also noted that the time and postage spent on this matter was beginning to seem ridiculous for a $2 rebate.

“ Just wondering: How many families have shared more than one name with a single season’s hurricanes? In Dennis Mossburg’s household it’s already up to two this year. Besides Dennis himself, there’s family cat Emily.

“What’s wrong with this picture: A friend saw one of those Lance Armstrong “fight cancer” bracelets on the wrist of a person who was dangling an arm out of a car, cigarette in hand.

“Expectations of elegance: You might have noticed that some kids tend to have definite ideas about etiquette.

Spokane’s Osborne family had traveled to Portland to attend a relative’s marriage ceremony. And as everyone was getting dressed, 6-year-old Torin noticed that the clothes laid out for him were just his usual “dress up” things.

“Where’s my tuxedo?” he asked. “I thought we were going to a wedding.”

“When pop culture attacks: Vince Eberly has some friends, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, who, when the movie “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” was first out, endured lots of lame references to that film.

And Eberly wonders if others have had to put up with similar humor stylings because of sharing a name with a character featured in a movie or TV show.

“A toast to quiet: Spokane’s Cindy Anderson saw a “Back to school” advertisement aimed at college students. She noticed that a portion of the ad was devoted to wines. And she couldn’t help but wonder if that part of the ad might actually be targeted at parents who will celebrate when the kids go back to school.

“One and only: You know how Ohio State refers to itself as “The Ohio State University”? Well, what if Spokane -area institutions took on similar airs?

I’ll start.

The Eastern Washington University, The Grant Elementary School, The Auntie’s Bookstore, The Dick’s, The The Spokesman-Review ….

“Hey, kids: Here’s one thing you can say to get a baby boomer to pipe down: “What was up with Paul Revere & the Raiders wearing tights?”

“Today’s Slice question: By the time September rolls around, what one Inland Northwesterner will have sweat the most this summer?