The Slice: Fishing lures don’t work much better than this

A tourism booklet put out by several small British Columbia communities near the U.S. border shows a fisherman casting his line.

Coming toward him, emerging out of the mists of time, is an Indian woman in a canoe. We see only her back, but she’s not wearing much and she looks fit. The picture holds out the promise that she is highly attractive.

Which raises a question for Spokane’s Jack Poole.

If he goes fishing up there, will he automatically get a guide like that?

“Adult humor: “The story about conjugal confusion (Tuesday’s Slice) reminded me of a trip with my wife to Seattle,” wrote Jerry Hilton of Cheney. “We drove over to pick up an extra car. We stayed at a motel.

“In the morning, I helped my wife put the bags in her car and then gave her a big kiss.

“I headed across the parking lot to my car, past a large group of guests chatting near their cars. Then my wife yells at me, ‘Be sure to call again next time your wife is out of town!’

“I melted into my car and drove away with everyone staring and laughing.”

“Family Phrases Department: “We moved from Chicago to a small rural community near Fresno when I was still a preschooler,” wrote The Rev. Bill Peterson. “One evening the family was taking a drive in the country when a cat decided to cross the road at a very inopportune time.”

With no one around and no houses in sight, there was nobody to inform. So Peterson’s father moved the dead feline to the side of the road. And the family drove on.

About half an hour later, young Bill piped up, “Let’s not talk about that cat anymore.”

“The rest of the family burst into laughter, and I burst into tears,” wrote Peterson.

You see, no one had been talking about “that cat.” The only conversation on that subject had been going on inside young Bill’s head.

But for years and years afterward, members of the Peterson family would sometimes respond to a heated or uncomfortable conversation by saying, “Let’s not talk about that cat anymore.”

“Second opinion: Mike and Judy McKeehan’s favorite bit of prescription guidance is “Alcohol Intensifies Effects.”

“We consider that a serving suggestion, rather than a warning,” she said.

“Wrong number: Barrie MacConnell’s wife, Jeanne, was paging through a magazine put out by the Red Hat Society. She saw an ad that intrigued her. So she called the toll-free number.

But she apparently misdialed, because instead of “Red Hat” stuff she quickly heard a promo for a “red hot” sex line.

The society’s motto is “Fun and Friendship, before and after 50.” But there’s usually no mention of “steamy one-on-one action.”

“Today’s Slice question: Who is the Spokane’s area’s most hit-on receptionist?