The Slice: Third-graders share their advice on preparing a turkey

Stressed about getting everything ready Thursday?

Well, relax. Today The Slice presents advice on preparing a Thanksgiving dinner from a panel of culinary consultants — Betsy Weigle’s third-graders at Moran Prairie Elementary. She had them address the theme “How to Cook a Turkey.”

Let’s start at the beginning.

Maegan O.: “First you buy a turkey at the store. Second you find a meat platter and put the turkey on the platter. Third you rip the legs off then you put the metal thing in the back end.”

Is there a key to selecting a bird?

Jamie T.: “Make sure it’s not rotten. If it is, return it.”

OK. What if you are a do-it-yourselfer?

Kody V.: “Go hunting for a turkey and shoot it in the butt or head.”

Ouch. Then what?

Anthony F.: “Slice it up. Then pick the bones out.”

How about cooking temperature?

Tyler M.: “Put it in the oven at 40 degrees.”

Then what?

Rachel M.: “Take it out and put seasoning on it (except broccoli).”

OK. Let’s review.

Matthew C.: “First you buy a turkey at the store. Then you take out all the turkey’s insides.”

And those oven settings again?

Kristy L.: “Cook it for 40 minutes. Put it at 80 degrees.”

Let’s back up. What are your choices at the outset?

Ashley C.: “You have to shoot it in the head or just buy it.”

Any seasoning tips?

Connor M.: “Put on some ketchup and mustard. Then put it in the oven for one hour at 10 degrees.”

Or…?

Jessica O.: “Boil the turkey for an hour in your Crock-Pot.”

Can your slow-cook your bird?

Tommy E.: “Put the turkey in the oven at 200 degrees for 24 hours.”

How about a serving suggestion?

Seth: “When it is done you can drink soda with it.”

Care to settle the annual stuffing debate?

Logan: “Six small meat loafs for stuffing in the turkey.”

Presentation?

Mitchell: “Put a tray or whatever under it.”

A tray?

Jessica J.: “Put it on a pretty plate.”

How can you be sure it will be done?

Enola B.: “Put it in the oven and cook it at 1,000 degrees.”

How do you simulate a magazine photo?

Bianca A.: “Put the decorations on it with flowers and candles.”

What was that first step again?

Elena B.: “Smell the turkey to see if it is good.”

Then what?

Tim K.: “Shave all the feathers off.”

What about once it’s out of the oven?

Annika: “When it’s done, let it sit for two minutes.”

“Today’s Slice question: How many people semi-dread family gatherings because of the whole nickname thing?