Arrow-right Camera
The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

No agendas, expectations; much love

Rebecca Nappi The Spokesman-Review

In Saturday’s column, I profiled Jerry Schwab, a 51-year-old man who scaled down his professional life to volunteer at House of Charity, a shelter in downtown Spokane run by Catholic Charities.

Not every middle-class professional is called to build long-term relationships with people on the margins of society. But with awareness of poverty raised by Hurricane Katrina, some people might feel a new interest in working with the poor. Jerry offers the following guidelines:

Be present without an agenda

The only agenda that works is the desire to form connections with people who might not know how to connect with others. When children feel loved, they move from dependence to independence and grow up knowing how to be interdependent in relationships where there is mutual give-and-take.

Most of the street people Jerry knows were abused or neglectd as children.

“If you are stuck in dependency, your best friend is Jack Daniels. The humans have failed you,” Jerry says. “Some people get stuck in independence, and 2-year-olds can be the most aggressive human beings: Me! Me! Most people, not just the homeless, are stuck in either dependent or independent stages.”

You form connections by calling people by their names, first of all. “Being known is very powerful.”

Then you listen to their stories — without an agenda, Jerry says.

If your agenda includes rescuing people from their lives or persuading them to change, you’ll quickly grow discouraged.

“You don’t see many results on a short-term basis,” Jerry says. “You’ll see people returning to cycles of addiction. You’ll see people committing slow suicide. You’ll see people hurt other people. You’ll see incredibly selfish people. And part of the time, you’re in risky territory.”

Some of the folks you meet will triumph over life’s adversities, but most won’t, Jerry explains. Don’t expect the triumph stories, and you won’t burn out.

Downsize your life to build community

Jerry, who has a master’s degree in counseling psychology and a doctorate degree in educational leadership, works only two days a week at a paying job. This enables him to devote three days to the House of Charity. This kind of commitment will rule most people out, and that’s OK. But people truly called to this commitment must be willing to downsize their professional lives to make emotional space and time.

The payoff? You’ll build up the entire community.

“Our community is only as strong as its least members,” Jerry says. “If we only grow the rich parts of our community, there’s something we’ve missed.”

Find like-minded individuals

When you make the decision to do this work, not everyone will applaud it. You will need a support network of others who speak the same language.

“We’re a culture that says that, especially men, must be achievers, must supervise or be on top of something. If you’re not, people question your manhood.”

Entering the House of Charity, and other shelters for street people, is intimidating, especially the first time. Ask to accompany someone who knows the territory.

Every few months Jerry sponsors an “urban plunge” experience for groups. People arrive at House of Charity on Friday evening, then stay overnight in an area separate from where the men sleep. But the urban plunge guests do share meals and fellowship with the regulars.

Jerry’s mentor was the Rev. Tony Lehmann, chaplain to Gonzaga University’s basketball team. He died in 2002. Jerry’s hedge against burnout was always his strong faith, but when that faltered he sought out Father Tony, who listened and encouraged him to keep going.

Which Jerry does, because of his “continual discovery of human treasure among what most people would consider the throwaways.”