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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Make meals

Share a meal; strengthen your family. It’s a message family advocates across the country want parents to hear. Among other benefits, studies show that kids whose families regularly eat meals together are less likely to use drugs.

“Eating together is an excellent idea,” said Chris Koehler, a parenting expert with the Washington State University Spokane County Extension office.

Even better, try making time for some family fun before or after a meal. The key is making the commitment to eating and playing together.

“The stronger the habit, the more committed everyone is, the better,” Koehler said. “Because the first time a parent gets very busy and drops the ball, it sends the message to the kids that it must not be that important.”

Finding activities that everyone in the family can do is important, though sometimes challenging.

“I love the idea of reading a book together,” Koehler said. She suggested making sure everyone who can read gets a chance to. Also, ask each reader to stop at an exciting part. That’ll keep the whole family eager to come together the next day to hear more.

“The hard part is when you get that wide age range and you’re trying to find something that will keep everyone interested,” Koehler said.

One way may be to plan an outing, such as a ride on the new gondolas followed by a picnic dinner in the park, Koehler said. Or plan a series of meals around a single theme, such as picking pumpkins one evening after a meal and then carving them together another day.

The whole family can also gather in the kitchen to help prepare the meal.

Matthew Young, executive chef at The Davenport Hotel, said his family likes to shop at a small farmers’ market before their special Sunday meal.

Young and his wife set aside every Sunday for time with their two kids. One of the family’s favorite things to do is play petanque, the French version of the popular Italian game bocce. The game is played with a set of silver balls – or boules – out in the grass or on a patch of dirt. Young said even his toddler son loves to get involved, chasing the balls.

For other families, board games or card games may be the perfect activity, Koehler said.

Spokane personal chef Karla Anderson recalled her family played the card game euchre, a game kids often play before they learn bridge. Tripoly and rummika were other favorites, she said.

Getting teens to buy into the family time can be tricky, Koehler said. “The more positive and more willing you are to play, the more likely you’re going to get a teenager to play.”

Plan a family scavenger hunt, or organize a dinner with your neighbors. In winter, families can go sledding to skating together.

“Have a night without power,” Koehler suggested. Light the candles and tell stories. Or, if family members are interested in music, then play instruments or sing together.

For families with older children, taking classes together, such as a digital photography class or an art class, can be a perfect way to bond, Koehler said.

Parents of teenagers might want to look for activities that allow the teen to teach the grownups something. “They like to show their expertise,” Koehler said.

And even if on some nights there is only enough time for a meal, that’s OK because that’s the perfect time to start some open-ended conversations, Koehler said.

Here are a couple of conversation starters: “If you could invent something, what would it be? If you were suddenly invisible, what would you do?”