Use map, directory to formulate plan of attack

MINNEAPOLIS – While comparing the Mall of America to London’s British Museum would seem absurd – in fact, it is absurd, though the museum does have a cool gift shop – they do have this in common:

Exploring either without a plan isn’t the most efficient way to do it.

It would take 86-plus hours to spend 10 minutes in each of the 520 stores in the Mall of America, which, considering the time it takes some people to buy one pair of shoes, means this won’t happen in real life.

How, then, to deal with this challenge on a rational timetable?

Mall spokesman Doug Killian offers a plan.

“I would get a map and a directory right away,” he says (both are free and easy to find). “Walk the perimeter of the first floor and get a sense of it.”

The perimeter would be about a half-mile walk. (The Mall, by the way, is accessible to wheelchairs.) The walk, Killian says, would take about 15 or 20 minutes.

“Take your time,” he says. “That would give you a good sense of the department stores, and where the stores appear and what’s here.”

You also get good views of Camp Snoopy. It really is something to see.

“Then,” he says, “you’re thinking, ‘OK, I’ve got an idea of what’s here, and now I want to get a pair of shoes.’ You look up ‘shoes’ (in the directory) and see the stores, and then …”

The list of 32 shoe stores, alphabetically, begins with Aerosoles (South Avenue, first floor) and ends with Vans (North Garden, third floor).

Fortunately, you’re not entirely on your own. Says Killian: “We have a fair number of uniformed security officers available to answer your questions.”

Unfortunately, ask one of them where you can find something in a mule, size 71/2 and you might get a glazed look that has nothing to do with the Treetop Tumbler.

Alan Solomon/Chicago Tribune