August 31, 2006 in Features

The Slice: But at least we handle with care

Paul Turner The Spokesman-Review
 

Earlier this summer, I met a nice guy who reminded me it’s silly to be defensive about Spokane.

You see, he lives in Fort Payne, Ala., where he works at a hospital. And every so often, when he’s traveling, strangers say to him, “Say, isn’t that the place with the churches where they used to do snake handling?”

Talk about a challenging civic image.

OK, let’s move on.

Slice answers: Asking who around here Slice readers would like to see naked was one more example of my ongoing effort to exalt the human spirit and bring out the best in everyone.

Most respondents named various Spokane TV newswomen. Imagine that. But, in the spirit of turnabout’s fair play, Jennifer Rova’s answer was “My doctor.”

Speaking of local TV news, a couple of readers suggested the endless parade of on-air interviews with grammar-manglers offers a definitive answer to the question about how well people here speak.

Others said subsisting exclusively on locally grown foods wouldn’t be all that tough at this time of year.

Several respondents said being the last people in this area to pay for small purchases with cash made them feel like the only sane residents of an asylum. But Will Barnes wrote that it sometimes made him feel “Like a jerk who has no credit.”

And there was no shortage of nominees for the distinction of being the Inland Northwest college professor who has engaged in inappropriate intimate behavior with the most students.

Just wondering: Bridget Freeman refers to yours truly as “The 6 a.m. guy.”

She sees me walking to work.

So, based on some aspect of your schedule, what do you imagine people call you?

Family viewing that turned out to be a mistake: Years ago, Bridget Dagg’s mom took all six kids (ages 6 to 13) to the Autovue drive-in to see “Deliverance.”

She wasn’t counting on the “squeal like a pig” sodomy scene.

“Her strained expression during the first part of the movie became altogether horrified when the Ned Beatty scene began,” wrote Dagg.

Mom decided it was the perfect time for everyone to hit the snack bar.

Old business: Several families were kind enough to invite me over to join their kids for a backyard campout. But the timing never worked. Maybe next summer.

My plan to compete at the Spokane Interstate Fair also has to be put on hold as my produce gardening never really got off the ground. And I decided not to enter a pie. Perhaps next year.

Today’s Slice question: How do you react to the sight of ostentatious lakefront homes?

A) Disdain. B) Jealousy. C) Disdain and jealousy. D) Resentment. E) Envy. F) Resentment and envy. G) Other.


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