Mike Vlahovich: Prep sports for players, not the parents

Last week’s column on the inherent problems with club sports overlapping high school athletics ran the expected gamut of opinion and one surprising thought.

Some readers said high schools must accommodate elite club athletes to assure they field the best teams. One high school coach said he believes kids should play as many sports as possible. Another said that life is about choices, and if there is a conflict it is up to athletes to decide.

But the most intriguing comment struck like a thunderbolt. It came from Mt. Spokane volleyball coach and girls basketball assistant John Reid, about girls sports in particular.

“Daughters just want to please their dads,” he said off-handedly prior to a Tuesday basketball game.

Could it be that they drive to succeed simply to appease their parents? Tell me it ain’t so!

Since my daughter plays college softball, I scrambled to my computer. Was it true, I e-mailed Linse? Was she playing for our approval and not her enjoyment?

“It is a little bit of both,” she replied. “I love sports. I got to meet a lot of great girls, learn a lot and have a lot of fun all at the same time. But I think it is something, as you get older, you end up doing more for your parents.”

We did YMCA and AAU basketball through eighth grade, club volleyball for a couple of years afterward. There was select softball in the summer and I spent two winters indoors sitting on a bucket catching her at pitching camp.

It was mainly in preparation for high school. Retrospectively, it would have taken accommodating coaches had she tried to play all three. She narrowed her choice to one, dropping basketball after ninth grade, admittedly to my disappointment, and volleyball to her mom’s after her junior year.

Certainly no parents’ desires supersedes their child’s. Right. Sporting culture for good and ill has become a family dynamic.

“For moms and dads, a big part of the kids’ commitment piece comes from them,” offers Reid. “Parents have invested a lot of time, energy and money. It becomes part of their social life.”

Expectations come with that, however, that can become burdensome to the athlete.

Reid was North Central’s basketball coach when his oldest daughter, Dani, said to him, “I don’t want to play basketball anymore. I don’t like it.” She ended up a state-qualifying All-GSL hurdler and relay runner in track for NC.

His middle daughter, Ali, was a rising club gymnast, then she broke two ankles. She’s now competing for fun at NC. “She (is) having a great old time,” said Reid. “It (is) competitive, but seeing her enjoyment (is) the biggest part.”

Even his youngest daughter, an AAU basketball eighth-grader, has told him, “You know, Dad, it’s not that much fun because so many parents are yelling at us.”

Sports – club and school – have their place, but there’s a moral to be had. Reid and I concur that gifted athletes have a certain innate ability and desire that transcend organizations.

Hall of Famers John Stockton and Ryne Sandberg, Super Bowl MVP Mark Rypien prospered before the clubs phenomenon.

Such athletes, male and female, have the gift and are driven by love of the game, not for the approval or benefit of others.

Parental love and support is easy. It is harder to simply enjoy and understand that sports are about our children, not us.