Too much tickling abusive

Dear Annie: My 8-year-old granddaughter, “Ashley,” recently told me she is afraid she is going to die if her brother’s 20-year-old girlfriend does not quit tickling her and poking her with her finger. Ashley says the girlfriend tickles her until she can’t breathe, and when she screams for her mother’s help, my daughter-in-law just says, “Now, you kids stop.”

The girlfriend is not speaking to me because I told her this was a form of child abuse, and if I hear that she’s done it again, I am going to call the police and child welfare services. I would like your opinion. – Worried Grandma

Dear Grandma: You have every reason to worry. Excessive tickling and poking is considered a form of child abuse, and this girlfriend either is a sadist or an idiot. Don’t threaten her. Instead, inform your son and daughter-in-law that you will be forced to report the situation to the authorities if they don’t take this seriously and make the girlfriend stop torturing your granddaughter. And follow through.

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married 10 years. He has two grown sons from a previous marriage. One is wonderful, responsible and caring. The other, however, goes from job to job looking for a better deal. “Robert” never calls us unless he needs something. He is a user.

The problem is, my husband feels responsible for Robert’s difficulties because of the divorce. He thinks he has to keep trying to make it up to him for not being there when Robert was younger. My husband bought Robert and his wife a house because they could not get a loan. They are supposed to make payments to us and we then pay the mortgage. Of course, they skip payments rather often, and Robert now owes us thousands of dollars. My husband thinks Robert will get caught up some day, but in the meantime, our savings are dwindling.

We are at the point of telling Robert that he should move out so we can rent the place for a couple of years. Frankly, I can’t imagine he will find an apartment for the same money they are paying us for the mortgage. What do you think? – Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: Tread carefully. Of course, Robert should pay his own way, and he should not be living in a place he cannot afford, but you’re asking your husband to make a difficult choice. Whether or not to throw Robert out of the house should ultimately be Dad’s decision. Otherwise, you risk having him blame you if it damages the relationship with his son.