Huckleberries: Sun Valley ain’t got nothin’ on us

Don’t count me among the locals who fear that Kootenai County and North Idaho are in danger of becoming another Sun Valley. Case in point – Cruisers Biker Bar’s 2nd Annual Mini-Sturgis Event June 29-30. While Sun Valley attracted billionaires and multimillionaires like Warren Buffett and Rupert Murdoch to Herb Allen’s annual media confab last week, the Stateline bar was planning a second blowout that would make Jeff Foxworthy, Larry The Cable Guy and other regulars on “Blue Collar TV” proud. Take the lineup of contests, for example – puh-LEEZ. Among those that can be mentioned in a family newspaper (sorta) – Awesome Tossem Toilet Seat Horseshoes, Bobbin’ For Pigs Feet, Frozen T-Shirt Contest, Armpit Serenade, Best Butt Crack, and Bikini Contest. And if you attend Mini-Sturgis sans bathing suit? No problemo. The promo sent to Huckleberries Online sez: “We will have paper plates and duct tape if you forget your bikini.” Can you imagine Michael Eisner, of Walt Disney Co.; CEO Dick Parsons, of Time-Warner; actor Tom Hanks; and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg pausing during a break at the Sun Valley mediafest to join the Hubcap/Biker Tire Hurl? Kootenai County’s getting better all the time. But we’ll always have Stateline and the Mini-Sturgis event to remind us of our roots.

“ If you read Huckleberries Online last week, you’d be the first on your block to know that Susan Cuff, the Panhandle Health District spokeswoman and an ex-Coeur d’Alene Press reporter, will move to Missoula at the end of the month to begin a new job as associate director of the University of Montana Alumni Association. And … that her hubby, Undersheriff Gary Cuff, will follow when he retires in about a year.

“ A newsroom wag has developed a sure-fire method for guessing the age of any trophy wife who hangs out at the Beacon at 4th & Sherman on summer evenings or adorns an oversized Big Boat on Lake Coeur d’Alene in an undersized bikini – divide her Sugar Daddy’s age in half and add seven years.

“ Nicholas Casey, a Coeur d’Alene blog newby who writes Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts, posted “A Real Life Conversation” that he overheard recently near an elevator: Older Lady: “So, was it a big gossip thing?” Younger Lady: “No. Linda said that James said that …”

“ Near the end of the marathon hearing on the Chateau de Loire subdivision Thursday, a man in the audience said to the Kootenai County commissioners (and I paraphrase): “I used to think I wanted to be in politics.” Without missing a beat, Commish Gus Johnson responded: “So did I.”

“ BTW, now that he’s a lame duck, Commish Trust Gus is wearing shorts to work again, as he did to the Chateau de Loire hearing.

“ CDADave, one of the regulars at Huckleberries Online, figures he needs an altimeter to sunbathe at the 12th Street entrance to Sanders Beach after reading the warning sign that the public is allowed access only “below 2,130 feet.” An altimeter is one of those gadgets for calculating height above sea level, among other measurements. For beachcombers without altimeters, CDADave has a swell idea: “Maybe the Post Falls Dam oughta let water out faster. Then, there’d be more of Sanders Beach for the public to enjoy!” Bingo.