Wife finds suspicious hair

Dear Annie: My husband and I both were married before, and each of our previous marriages lasted over 40 years. Recently, I have not been so sure about my husband’s faithfulness.

A few months ago, I spent a weekend with my children (a four-hour drive), and when I came back, I cleaned the house and found this long black hair on the floor. We have no family or friends with hair like that, and I asked my husband how this hair got in the house. He said he had no idea. However, I have found identical black hairs in the house twice before.

I am in pain over this and want to know your opinion. – Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken: A long black hair on the floor is not sufficient evidence to convict your husband of cheating. It could be someone’s cat, a hair attached to the mail by the postal carrier or stuck to the newspaper, or your husband may be wearing a wig while you’re gone.

If this is your only source of suspicion, leave it alone. However, if there are other signs that all is not well, ask your husband to go with you for marriage counseling so you can work on your insecurities.

Dear Annie: I am 60 years old and a widow of two years. I had open heart surgery three years ago, am overweight and have diabetes. I’m not a calm and gracious widow. I’m cranky and fearful and really miss my husband.

What is really bothering me is that my nice young family doctor says I no longer need to bother having pelvic exams, Pap smears, breast exams or mammograms. Is this correct?

I’ve still got all my parts. I’m past menopause, and my mother died of cancer when I was 34. How do they detect cancer in older women if they don’t test for it? Is the doctor saying this because I’m old and scarred where they put me back together and may not live long enough for any other disease to matter?

Are there guidelines on what tests women should have as we age? – Indiana

Dear Indiana: Older women need regular pelvic exams because you are still at risk for cervical or vaginal cancer, not to mention other problems, such as urinary incontinence. Some doctors eliminate Pap smears for women over 65 who have had a total hysterectomy or three negative Pap smears in a row and no abnormal ones in the last 10 years. However, your doctor should absolutely do a breast exam. It is particularly important for older women because the risk of breast cancer increases with age. You should have a mammogram every two years unless there is a history of breast cancer, in which case, your doctor may recommend that you have one annually.