Nursery offers kids haven

Sonja Vernier was overwhelmed. She had two small boys and a third baby on the way.

Far from her home in Tacoma, she felt isolated and very alone She’d come to Spokane to enter drug treatment at Isabella House. The staff, sensing her despair, told her about the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery.

And one evening she made the bravest call of her life. She picked up the phone and called the crisis nursery.

“I’d never been apart from my kids,” she said. “The person who took my call put me at ease.

“I needed to bring my boys right away, and even though it was 6 in the evening, they said, ‘Come on in.’ “

The crisis nursery was founded in 1987 in memory of Vanessa Behan, who died from child-abuse injuries at age 2. Her death shocked and saddened the Spokane community.

A grass-roots initiative was launched to create a place for parents to bring their children anytime they were having difficulty providing safe, nurturing care for them.

It was just what Vernier desperately needed.

“My kids stayed about 18 hours that first visit,” she said. “It gave me a chance to catch my breath and refocus.”

Amy Swanson, crisis nursery executive director, said something as simple as a trip to the grocery store can be incredibly stressful for parents who have no support system. The logistics of taking the bus, struggling with strollers, and corralling toddlers can simply be too much.

“Our society doesn’t tell us it’s OK to reach out and ask for help,” Swanson said.

And that’s why the crisis nursery is designed to be as welcoming and nonthreatening as possible.

According to Swanson, “The vision of the nursery is a visit to Grandma’s house for the weekend.”

Parents dropping off their children use a special family entrance. They walk into a welcoming living room ambience instead of a sterile agency atmosphere.

The nursery is available for children to age 6. They can stay for up to three days.

Vernier used the nursery again when she was hospitalized for pre-term labor. Because she had no family in town, her children would have been placed in foster care if not for the nursery.

“My kids love it here,” she said.

While staying at Vanessa Behan, children are fed three meals and three snacks a day. They’re held and cuddled by caring staff and volunteers.

A big playroom and an outdoor play area overflow with fun things for the children to see and do. A sleeping room is lined with cribs, toddler beds and lots and lots of rocking chairs.

“We’re licensed to care for up to 23 children per day, and we’re open 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year,” Swanson said.

In addition to crisis care, the nursery provides parent education classes, crisis counseling, and referrals to other local support agencies.

Vernier grew teary when she talked about her sons.

“My whole self-worth is centered on my kids,” she said. “I feel like without them, I have no purpose.”

She paused and took a deep breath.

“But I’ve learned that I need to take care of myself so I can parent them.”

She’s traveled a long and difficult road. Her mother also was a drug addict, and Vernier is working hard to break the cycle of addiction so her children can be successful.

Her three sons dashed around her, engaging her in a cheerful game of tag.

“I do as much I as I can to advocate for the crisis nursery,” she said. “I tell people, this is a safe place for their kids.”

“Prevention is the key here,” Swanson said. “If we can get parents to identify the stressors that push them to the edge, we can prevent abuse.”

She longs for the day when there will be no stigma attached to those who need assistance.

“Asking for help is a sign of strength,” she said. “Good parents use the nursery.”