Sorry, Mr. McGwire: parole’s denied
The parole board for the baseball Hall of Fame is now in session. Today’s applicant is Mark McGwire.
Is it time to let his reputation out of the public opinion slammer? A pertinent matter, since the Hall of Fame ballots are due next week.
The charges are suspicion of chemically enhanced home runs. Also, when he appeared before that congressional committee, his answers reminded people too much of Michael Corleone in “The Godfather: Part II.”
The board will hear arguments from each side. The defense first …
“If it pleases the court, there are 583 good reasons to set Mark McGwire free – each and every one a homer that was hit entirely within the rules of baseball at that time. Since when are laws made retroactive?
“As for those who disparage Mr. McGwire now, weren’t they the same cheerleaders saying he was saving the game in 1998? It could not have been a secret back then he was doing something to bulk up. He didn’t exactly remind you of a jockey when he lumbered to the plate. But nobody wanted to be the sourpuss and spoil the big party.
“The Hall of Fame always has been almost entirely about numbers. That is how various rogues made it, to vast applause. Mark McGwire has the numbers. And everyone stood and roared as he produced them.”
Now for the prosecution …
“Just because someone didn’t look closely enough before on how numbers were obtained doesn’t mean we should ignore the truth now. Do we honor the game by perpetuating a wrong?
“Mr. McGwire’s career was not built on defense, speed or deft bat skills. He had 1,626 career hits, or 213 fewer than Chuck Knoblauch, who is also on the ballot. His career was memorable because he had the build of an oil tanker and regularly sent pitches into the next ZIP code. Without his brawn – wherever it came from – we are not here today.
“We would remind the court that a study was just released that was thicker than the Wichita phone book, detailing the alleged damage done to baseball by steroids and other performance-enhancers. To vote Mark McGwire into the Hall of Fame three weeks after the Mitchell report would be like advertising blimp rides three weeks after the Hindenburg.”
(Pause for short deliberation).
We find McGwire’s numbers compelling, but the shadows from those years compelling even more.
We would like to be forgiving and merciful, but would need Mr. McGwire’s assistance.
Perhaps time will allay the doubts. But not yet.
Parole denied. See you next December.