Annie’s Mailbox: Sisters being jealous, cruel

Dear Annie: I am a 40-something woman who has been divorced (and alone) for more than 10 years. Last year I met “Gary,” and he has made me happier than I have been in years. He moved in six months ago.

The problem is my sisters, “Pam and Amy.” Pam recently ended a bad relationship, and since I became involved with Gary, she has snubbed me. My younger sister, Amy, had lived with me, rent-free, for more than five years and was absolutely furious when she had to move out. She’s barely spoken to me since. The only family I have left is my mother, and I cannot even visit her when my sisters are at her house because they refuse to see me.

This has been going on for six months, and I am at my wits’ end about how to deal with them. I have tried placating them, ignoring their caustic remarks, trying to reason with them, all to no avail.

I’d hate to lose my sisters completely. I used to think of them as my friends. What do I do now? – Ostracized in Omaha

Dear Omaha: Do your sisters have any reason to dislike Gary? If not, they are being jealous and vindictive. In time, they should get past this, but the process can be unpleasant. Tell them how much you love them, and add, calmly, that their behavior will accomplish nothing but hard feelings. Meanwhile, visiting your mother should be up to Mom, not Pam and Amy. Enlist her help to make it clear to your sisters that you are welcome in her home. (If they don’t like to see you there, they should leave.)

Dear Annie: My son is getting married next spring. The parents of the bride have already told us we are only obligated for the traditional items (flowers, rehearsal dinner, etc.). The bride’s parents are paying for everything else.

The bride’s parents initially said they would pay for individual hotel rooms for the entire wedding party, but I offered to cover the cost of the groomsmen’s rooms. All eight groomsmen are from out of town (as are we). None of them are married, but almost all have steady girlfriends who will also be attending the wedding.

The amount of money for hotel rooms is substantial, and although we can afford it, my husband would like to use the money to do some remodeling on our house instead. Would it be selfish of us to ask the groomsmen to bunk together, even though they were originally told they’d have individual rooms? – The Groom’s Mom

Dear Mom: You should keep your promise, even if it means postponing the work on the house. There’s no point in creating ill will with the newlyweds.