It’s time for a real superhero: Blunder Woman

Katrina Swaim has discovered she’s a superhero: Blunder Woman. Among the superpowers the young CdA mother lists on her Notes on a Napkin blog are: “the ability to fill two shopping carts in one trip and push them both out to the car without denting anyone’s fender or losing that slippery pack of toilet paper precariously balanced on the top of the heap” and “the uncanny knack of knowing when the kids have been quiet for a little too long.” There’s more. Other special abilities include: “a super-enhanced sense of smell for detecting about-to-go-bad produce (and the closely related skill of instantly concocting a meal that uses up said produce before it’s too late”; “the power to contain and neutralize any biological fluid known to man without vomiting”; and “multi-dimensional time-bending ability that allows the Huckleberries Online regular to attend a parent-teacher conference, pick up a prescription, turn in library books, meet her husband for lunch, and take a sick child to the doctor’s office within a time frame of roughly 45 minutes.” Blunder Woman’s Arch Enemy, according to Katrina, is Surly Customer Service Girl. A child’s whining is the equivalent of deadly Kryptonite to her. And you can forget “faster than a speeding bullet,” et cetera. Blunder Woman’s catch phrase is: “Because I said so.” Katrina’s post resonated with Napkin Notes reader Jennifer, who coveted her powers. With hubby out of town, Jennifer exhaled: “My kiddos are about to do me in.” Methinks Blunder Woman’s powers are more remarkable than Superman’s.