Annie’s Mailbox: 9-year-old son caught stealing

Dear Annie: I recently discovered that my 9-year-old son, “Liam,” is stealing. He has been caught taking very expensive items from his grandparents’ house and also from school. He has stolen from his friends’ homes as well.

When I asked Liam why he does this, he says he “needs” whatever item he took. I am afraid this may have been going on for a longer period of time than I realized. What can I do about it? – Chicago

Dear Chicago: Liam is old enough to know stealing is wrong. First, go with him to return the items he has stolen. If something cannot be returned, he should offer to pay for it. He must understand that there are consequences to his behavior. Meanwhile, does he get an adequate allowance? Is he getting enough attention? Are his friends stealing? Since this behavior has been going on for a while, we think you should mention it to your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a therapist who has experience in this area.

Dear Annie: I was amazed to read the letter from “Jack,” who was doing all the household chores but still wasn’t getting any sex from his wife, so he was having an affair. I could have written that letter.

Sex with my wife was great at first but became more infrequent until, after 10 years, we were intimate less than twice a year. We had counseling, but she refused to return after the (female) counselor suggested my point had some validity. The counselor said if I helped more around the house, sex would increase. I did laundry, cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping as my wife watched more and more TV. Sex never increased. I asked her to see a doctor or return to counseling, but she refused.

After two years of being a live-in maid, I started an affair with a woman at work. She made it clear I could have all the sex I wanted, so I left my wife and am now living with my fiancee. – F.M.

Dear F.M.: We heard from a lot of readers – mostly female – who were upset that we didn’t specifically address “Jack’s” affair. Read on for the other side:

From California: I, too, am in a sexless marriage, and my husband will tell you it’s my fault. The real reason I have no interest is because there is no affection. No romance. Every time I try for a loving hug, which could lead to my arousal, it ends up being a grope.

New York: I can’t imagine that telling your wife, “I did my part, now you do yours,” is much of a turn on. Remember the romance.

Texas: We know nothing about “Jack.” Is he unkempt? Kinky? Selfish in bed? If all avenues of resolution have been explored and the situation remains unchanged, he should get a divorce and start over.