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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Love stories: Friendship pays off


Bill and Selina Slater  married in 1979 and have two children, Sabrina and Matt. 
 (Holly Pickett / The Spokesman-Review)

Bill Slater knows the value of persistence. He first caught a glimpse of his future bride at Whitworth College in 1970, but it took nine long years to win her hand.

“I saw her running up the stairs to get to the head of the food line,” he recalled. “She did that every day, and every day I noticed her. I just had to get to know her.”

It turns out the reason Selena frequently flew by in a blur was that she was in a hurry to get to her job. She was a focused student with definite goals she wanted to accomplish at college.

Marriage was not necessarily one of them.

“I found out what dorm she was in and started calling and asking her out,” Bill said. “But every time I asked she said she was working!”

“I really was working,” Selena interjected with a laugh. Bill just rolled his eyes. He believes he asked her out at least 15 times before she finally said yes.

Little did he know that dogged pursuit was just a taste of things to come.

When he continued to ask, Selena said, “I figured he was serious, but I was serious about school.”

She eventually agreed to go out with him. They dated occasionally though not exclusively throughout their college days.

“He never gave up,” said Selena. “I was impressed. I did start falling in love with this guy, but I didn’t know it.”

The couple talked about the future and felt their differences would be too difficult to surmount.

“We agreed it wouldn’t work,” Bill said. “She’s black. I’m white. Plus she had no plans to stay in Spokane.”

Still he kept calling and she kept answering. Bill graduated and worked at his father’s service station. When Selena graduated he said, “I gave her a watch and basically said, ‘See ya.’ “

Selena returned to her hometown of San Jose, Calif., and began her teaching career while Bill stayed in Spokane and pursued a career in real estate. And every six months or so Selena’s phone would ring, and Bill would ask, “Are you married yet?”

“No,” she’d reply. “Are you?”

For five years the phone calls and occasional letters continued.

“Because we knew we weren’t going to get married, we were able to talk about all kinds of things,” said Bill. “We talked about race, and about our dreams and our plans. We ended up being pretty close to best friends.”

Those five years apart only made things more clear to Bill. He knew what he wanted. He was 28 years old and ready to marry. He picked up the phone one last time.

“I called her and told her I couldn’t find anyone that matched up to her. I was always in love with her.”

He proposed over the phone. As focused and determined as ever, Selena asked for another year.

“Bill basically said no,” she said with an eloquent shrug. “I hung up and said, ‘He’s different,’ ” she recalled. “It was now or never.”

He was a man who’d made up his mind.

They eloped to Reno in August 1979, but it didn’t quite go as planned. Bill had traveled from Spokane to San Jose to get his bride; from there they continued to Reno.

“But when we got there, everything was closed!” said Bill, shaking his head.

Back to San Jose they went. The next day they traveled to Las Vegas and were married at the Candlelight Wedding Chapel. That was almost 28 years ago.

Selena’s family embraced Bill immediately, while Bill said his parents evolved into appreciation of the couple’s relationship.

“Eventually, they loved Selena,” he said, “and she loved them to death.”

They settled in Spokane and raised a daughter, Sabrina, and a son, Matt.

Bill said the foundation of friendship laid before they married served them well.

“Marriage is hard work,” he said. “It’s not like it looks in the movies.”

The empty nesters are busily enjoying the life they’ve created together. They credit their strong faith in God for the success of their relationship.

“I told Bill at the beginning of our marriage, ‘It’s you, me and Jesus,’ ” said Selena. “And that’s just the way it’s been.”

Bill Slater’s persistence has earned enormous dividends – a happy home, a happy wife and a lifetime of memories still left to make. And he’s ready to offer this advice to prospective bridegrooms, “Be ready to stand up and act like a man.”