Fast track to love

Their first date lasted all of three minutes.

But in that brief moment – as they answered questions like “What do you do for fun?” and “How important is it to you to read the Bible?” – Craig Hancock and Kelly Wark felt a spark.

They were a match. Made in heaven, so to speak.

For in that blink-of-an-eye encounter, Wark and Hancock discovered they not only had similar hobbies and goals, they also shared a fervent faith life. “We were both interested in Jesus Christ and the grace of God,” said Hancock, recalling their first conversation last May.

Now engaged to be married, the two are among hundreds in the area who have taken part in speed dating through Spokane Christian Singles. Twice a month, Christians of all ages and denominations gather together for multiple three-minute dates in hopes of finding a soulmate.

“Instead of chasing after all the wrong dates, cut to the chase with speed dating,” said Cathy Prows, founder of Spokane Christian Singles and who, by the way, is single. “You meet a whole bunch of people all at once so you don’t waste your time and money. … Speed dating is a tool to help you find your lifelong partner.”

On a recent Saturday night, the parking lot at Cafe Donna on East Trent was packed despite the wintry weather. Inside the dimly-lit restaurant, nearly 40 people – 20 men and 18 women – mingled over a buffet dinner of baked chicken breast and mashed potatoes, waiting to try their luck at love.

Here’s how speed-dating works: For half the evening, women quiz men on their lives from a list of pre-printed questions. When the egg timer rings three minutes later, the guys move to the next table, switching “dates.” After a break, the men get a chance to ask the questions.

Throughout the whole event, each person is identified only by a number, although many introduce themselves by their first name.

“Do you have any hobbies?” asked a 20-something woman known as number 19.

“I like to do outdoors stuff,” responded number 43, a 30-something guy dressed in a jean jacket and a baseball cap.

“Do you live in a house or apartment?”

“A manufactured home,” number 43 said with pride. “With plastic siding.”

At other tables throughout the restaurant, guys were peppered with similar questions: What is your job? Do you have any kids? What do you look for in a woman?

Nearly everyone who attended the recent speed-dating event agreed on this: No matter how hard you look, love can be as elusive as Cupid himself.

They’ve struck out at bars. Too scared to venture onto the Internet. Blind dates can be nerve-wracking. Even church – the most obvious place where Christian singles would flock to each weekend – hasn’t been all that productive.

“How on earth can you meet someone in church?” asked Prows. “People go there to worship and give thanks to God. I mean, do you stand around after church and look around to see who else is alone during the doughnut social? I would feel too uncomfortable.”

Some participants also noted that at some of the smaller congregations in town, the number of unmarried people remains in the single digits.

Frustrated with the lack of opportunities to meet other single Christians, Prows in August 2000 decided to start a group that would appeal to Christians from area-wide churches.

On every weekend except the weeks of Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, Spokane Christian Singles offers not only speed dating but social events including potlucks, dancing, movies, game nights and bowling. The gatherings draw a regular crowd of at least two dozen to as many as 100, but the most popular event continues to be speed dating.

“We want people to be able to make friends,” explained Prows, “but we also have speed dating to help Christians meet the love of their life.”

Both Hancock and Wark had attended speed-dating events in the past, but the two were never at the same one until they met 10 months ago. “It’s fun even if you don’t end up with a date,” said Hancock, a 39-year-old truck driver with two sons from a previous relationship.

Wark, 32, said she was encouraged by the fact that she kept seeing new faces each time she attended an event with the Spokane Christian Singles. She also was searching for a partner who shared her religious belief, she said.

“I’m a Christian and one of my goals in life is to grow in Christ and be the person God wants me to be,” said Wark, a Seventh-day Adventist. When she met Hancock at a speed-dating event at Opportunity Presbyterian Church, she was struck by his devotion to God.

Faith is very important to many speed-dating participants, according to Prows, who’s Catholic. While some might not go to church on a regular basis, many are looking for a partner who shares the same values and foundation of beliefs, she said.

“If you’re both committed to your faith, you’re able to handle problems better because you believe in something bigger than you,” said 42-year-old James Custer, a born-again Christian. “I’m looking for someone who reads the Bible a lot and who’s committed to their faith. …

“Do I expect to find my soul mate here?” he asked, scanning the room full of strangers. “Maybe.”

The odds, he said, are better here than most places.

During each three-minute encounter, some participants, including Toni Seidel, 41, took careful notes. While many stuck to the easy questions such as “What is your favorite TV show?” and “What type of music do you listen to?” Seidel picked the tougher ones: In a personal relationship, how do you resolve confrontation? What is your relationship with your parents? If you could time travel to any year in the past, which year would you choose and why?

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” said Seidel. “It’s fun. There’s lots of good conversations.”

Brian Ang, a 38-year-old taxi driver in Spokane and an experienced speed dater, said coming to these events are especially helpful for shy people like him in search of someone special.

“You don’t know who you’ll get online,” he said. “At a bar, you find people who are just looking for a one-night stand. … People here are looking for a meaningful relationship.”

At the end of the evening, participants write down the numbers of the people they’d like to date and turn them in to Prows, who then looks for matches. After a few days, she calls every participant to tell them of the results, even if that person didn’t find a match that night.

“This makes dating so much easier, since people already know who they are interested in, but this way they will know if that person is interested in them, too,” she explained. “No more fear of rejection.”

After being notified by Prows that they were a match last May, Wark and Hancock went on a more traditional second date – a picnic lunch at Manito Park when all the flowers were in bloom.

They continued to see each other. They met each other’s families and friends. They started attending church together.

In December, two days before Christmas, the well-established couple went to dinner at the Mustard Seed, where Hancock surprised Wark with a diamond engagement ring. They’re getting married in May.

Others who belong to Spokane Christian Singles hope they’ll be just as lucky.

“I think someday God will give me somebody,” said 45-year-old Steve Newport of Spokane. “But at least now I’ll have fun.”