Alcoholic sister exploits family

Dear Annie: After 40 years of marriage, my sister’s husband kicked her out with nothing but the clothes on her back. “Peggy” is an alcoholic and a heavy smoker who doesn’t care what she looks or smells like. She lost her driving privileges years ago for multiple DWI convictions. She doesn’t have a job.

When Peggy became homeless, she came home to her family – two sisters and a few nieces and nephews. She said she needed a place for a couple of weeks, but it’s turned into 11 months. She goes from one of our homes to another, sleeping on sofas.

All those years when Peggy was ruining her life with alcohol abuse, my other sister and I were working and making our lives better. We have finally retired and want to relax and do things we couldn’t get around to before. Now here comes Peggy, who refuses to get a job, so we have to support her while she sits around all day watching TV and opens up a smart mouth if you say anything about it. – Fed Up

Dear Fed Up: There’s no incentive for Peggy to get a job or contribute to the household if she can live with you, free of rent and responsibility. We know you care about her, but she is an alcoholic, and your family is enabling her to continue. Please contact Al-Anon (al-anon-alateen.org) at 1-888-4-AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666) and find out when and where the next meeting will take place. All the family members should attend.

Dear Annie: Recently I was discussing baby names with my new sister-in-law, “Amber.” I told her I’ve always dreamed of naming a little boy “Alex.” It’s the name of my late paternal grandfather, and I also love the way it sounds.

A week later, Amber announced she was pregnant and said if it’s a boy, she wants to name him Alex. I reluctantly agreed that, since my brother was the only one carrying on the family name, they could use Alex. After all, I’m not even married and have no rights to the name.

Unfortunately, the more I think about it, the more upset I get. My boyfriend and I do plan on getting married, and he, too, likes the name “Alex.” .

I am thrilled that my brother and Amber are having a baby, but I can’t get past the name issue. Should I tell them again how upset I am? Am I being irrational? – What’s in a Name?

Dear What’s: While it would have been nice for Amber to choose another name, the fact remains that you don’t have a monopoly on this one. You were gracious to tell your brother it was OK with you. Please don’t create hard feelings now. If you still want to call your child “Alex,” by all means, do so. Many cousins share a name. But we hope you will be open to other possibilities.