May sweeps largely offers regular fare
Aside from the “American Idol” finale, there’s little in television’s May “sweeps” rating period – which launched last week and continues until May 23 – worth shouting about.
A new prime time “Saturday Night Live” retrospective?
Yes.
The series finale of “The King of Queens”?
I could speak to the nonimportance of that event, but won’t.
Instead, I’ll let the brilliant band Fountains of Wayne, which name-drops the show on its new album “Traffic and Weather,” illustrate what a total loser one song’s character is for sitting at home watching it.
Anyway, May is the last big artificial ratings push the networks make for the TV season.
Where once blockbuster miniseries and specials highlighted their schedules, now we get not much.
A selected viewing guide:
Thursday: The stunt to go with “My Name is Earl” (8 p.m., NBC) is a scented “Laugh ‘n’ Sniff” card inserted into the week’s TV Guide.
Later, at 9:53 p.m. – all of NBC’s “Super-Sized” shows this night are scheduled to confound viewers – a big wedding is held on “ER.”
Sunday: “The Amazing Race” season finale (8 p.m., CBS).
Then at 9 on NBC comes one of of May’s must-sees, especially if you’re a student of NBC’s movie-star-launching sketch-comedy institution: “Saturday Night Live in the ‘90s: Pop Culture Nation.”
Tuesday: In an episode titled “Bombshell,” “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” mines the Anna Nicole Smith sorrow for a story line. (9 p.m., NBC)
May 9: The “Jericho” season, and perhaps series, finale. (8 p.m., CBS)
May 13: “7th Heaven,” which the CW network bills as TV’s longest-running family drama, concludes its long run when dad Eric (Stephen Collins) and mom Annie (Catherine Hicks) hit the road in an RV. The episode’s title: “And Away We Go …” (8 p.m., CW) Also wrapping up at 8 on CBS, with a two-hour finale plus a follow-up reunion hour, is “Survivor: Fiji.”
May 14: Nicole Sullivan, Anne Meara, Lou Ferrigno and Lainie Kazan guest-star in the one-hour series finale of “The King of Queens.” Lou Ferrigno? (9 p.m., CBS)
May 15: The future of “Gilmore Girls” is still up in the air, so the season finale (8 p.m., CW) could serve as the series finale. Fortunately, Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Luke (Scott Patterson) patch things up, and Stars Hollow tosses a huge graduation bash for Rory. CNN’s Christiane Amanpour guest-stars.
Also at 8, CBS presents “The 42nd Annual Academy of Country Music Awards,” with scheduled performances by Tim McGraw, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood and others.
May 16: The season finale of “America’s Next Top Model” unleashes another fierce diva upon the runways of the world. Snap, etc. (8 p.m., CW)
May 17: “The Office” concludes its season with an hourlong finale during which everything about Dunder-Mifflin’s Scranton satellite appears up for grabs. (8 p.m., NBC)
May 18: A “Dr. Phil” prime-time special. (9 p.m., CBS)
May 20: Two weddings are in store for the third-season finale of “Desperate Housewives” (9 p.m., ABC)
May 21: The season finale of NBC’s “Heroes” comes and goes as Isaac’s (Santiago Cabrera) horrible predictions all come true. Or do they? The episodes’s subtitle: “How to Stop an Exploding Man.” (9 p.m., NBC)
Also concluding its season with a two-hour attack is Fox’s “24” (8 p.m., Fox), though some fans will argue that the real ending came when the (latest) nuclear threat was diffused weeks ago.
May 22: The future beyond this season is unknown for CW’s “Veronica Mars,” so this two-hour season finale may be it. (8 p.m., CW)
Meanwhile, the final “American Idol” finalists sing one last time for America’s call-in affections. (8 p.m., Fox)
May 23: And the “American Idol” winner is … revealed beginning at 8 p.m. on Fox.